She's JV to your varsity
Last night is one of those stories you hear about on 20/20 right after they make a law banning 90% if what I did.
Definitely saw about 20 people at my final that were never present before. It's like seeing who's gonna be serving me fries in 4 years.
In my defense it was my birthday and I really wanted to do it.
he doesn't drink and he's an emt - he'll be our dd for nye in exchange for a threesome tomorrow afternoon.
She stumbled in with some guy, woke me up, introduced him and said "This is my sister. She's a freshman. She probably hates you."
Yeah. It's a great diet plan tho. Just have sex every time you get hungry.
Annnnddddd this chick is using a hand puppet made of a sock to give her research presentation...
All I could think when I saw it was, "All right, Vagina, only one of us is getting out of this alive."
Dude. Yeah. This is a game changer. I feel dirty and possibly pregnant and it hasn't happened yet.
Sit down my child. It's time you were told of my famous loss-of-virginity story entitled, "The Penis that Never Could."
btw im having a "its finally warm enough for a bbq in Toronto" party tonight. bring all the alcohol you have. and hamburger buns.
My professor just paused class to answer a phone call from her dog. Im taking shots before this class from now on.
Sometimes you have good days, sometimes m you delete 360 screenshots off your camera roll.
They were shocked that I could handle my liquor so well. I'm half Irish and half Russian. This is what I'm made for
Randomize
