Come to wood. Julia is putting pants on. We must stop her.
her nipple to breast ratio was just odd
i can smell the iron from margo's period blood from across the table.
You named all of the cocktail shrimps and then tackled a guy for "eating Henry"
I just used my 7th grade year book to figure out who I hooked up with last night. Being home is magical.
I walked outside out to find her peeing in her toga with a cigar in one hand and her thong in the other
Woke up this morning with seven juice boxes under my pillow and an empty box of condoms In my pocket. Good night.
So after this weekend I think I'm gonna go down on one knee and propose to my boyfriend that he give me his liver.
So it sounded like a midget was barfing IN our walls again this morning ...
I'm sorry. I just realized our 'big night out' ended up being you driving my high ass to get burritos and back.
Everyone thinks I'm sleeping but I'm actually just melting.
I don't even have his number. I have his pants tho
I cannot believe all 4 of us had sex at the same time, in the same bed... And it didn't turn into a foursome..
The first thing he said was that my underwear smelled like Trix but then he looked up at me and whispered "Silly rabbit, vagina is for me."
Why did you buy a cock ring?
I’m going to propose to his penis
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