she was home schooled till college. were she learned how to give the most amazing blowjobs is still a mystery.
i looked at my phone and realized all i had said to her the entire night was misspelled variations of "NOTHING IS THE SAME" over and over. she eventually stopped replying.
I still can't believe he turned down that threesome with us in central park. He must be really committed.
After she lost the bet I made her get on one knee so she could "Te-blow me"
I was more than drunk as hell I have rug burn on my elbows from ninja roles on the ground..
And then, I saw the prophecy come to fruition. It was the Dick of Destiny.
He left in the middle of the night, he left his shoes behind and stole my doc martens..size 6 female. Wtf?
These are all good points. But, I think your under estimating what it's like to be held upside down for a standing 69
So you get idea of what my night was like, I woke up this morning and the back of my head was orange
Yes I did. Thanks. I was actually an hour and half early. I'm better at public transport than I thought. Guy behind me on the bus is also crying. We compared cry-snot. It was nice in a weird sad way.
The paramedics said she just kept whispering "I just wanted to party"
i woke up in a bed of pop tarts
You came in, yelled 'i am from the future' then puked all over the floor
I currently hiding in an upside down garbage can please come find me
Just hit on a girl with the line, "You look like Natalie Portman if she did drugs". Strike 1
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