love how google fills in search terms for you, today for example, i ran a query for "why do girls get t"
and google finished it w/ "ramp stamps."
I felt less weird knowing others had searched this before me.
I'm sad I can't be there is wknd, I'm laying on the beach and daydreaming of you / crying a bit
I'm watching a porn and daydreaming of you. Sounds like we both need Kleenex
Someone wrote that you're a whore in one of the bathroom stalls
I didn't know I was popular enough to be hated. This is awesome
I'm so hungover And my mouth is so dry it feels like my tongue is wearing a sweater
I should have some sort of frequent buyer card or something. I just bought my third bottle of Captain this week. It's Wednesday.
you know it's bad when you need sunglasses to open the refrigerator
So apparently after he gets hammered, falls down a set of stairs and gets a concussion, he can still come home and find a way to play his guitar solo bullshit as loud as possible while i seduce my date...
He came inside me, looked me in the eye and said, "Happy Mother's Day"
Desperately trying not to throw up over the side of the ferry back to CT. Can't be the first one of the season.
The way I'm gonna look at it is, if you don't makeout with your roommate once in college, you didn't do something right.
I may have to marry her. She is smarter than me and has a six figure job and doesn't want to have kids. All I have to be is a trophy husband.
Apparently I was proudly showing him the cup I barfed pizza rolls into
And as the acid sets in, he looks back at the shallow form he used to call his and whispers "3 pee pees strong"
Dude is PACKING. And yes I am holding up a cross and holy water and hissing like a pissed off goose.
I saw a penis covered in glitter tonight.
Randomize
