Is it sad I memorized the exact change required for a #7 at Wendy's?
you know when i was in school the girls definitely did not have the tits the 15 year olds have now. so unfair.
I need to surround myself with more reliable stoners...
jusi got death stares at taco bell because I asked if Denise was working.
he sent me this 10 second long video of a gorilla eating a banana on my phone. no explanation. I didn't even have his number. just. a gorilla eating a banana.
Well i tried snorting sugar. so either that made me puke or the fact that i drank water from a fish tank
You handed some guy a spoon you found, he yelled SPOON GAME, and then the two of you spent the next 20 minutes throwing spoons all over the kitchen.
Do you think he stole that soccer trophy that he gave you for the "best sweater award" from his five year old son?
No you usually just ranted about the voicemail bitch until she cut you off again
speaking of festive, i made out with a guy in a leaf pile last night. happy fall?
There's going to be a velveeta shortage. I'm not drunk any more, this is just dire info.
I lost a fight last night. By that I mean I head butt the bar and busted my lip open.
I'm still not sure how to feel about the fact that we had a threesome with a guy the same age as my dad
I woke up naked in a tent. I was more upset that the air mattress had deflated.
Um. I just realized I still have a beer in my purse from last night. I'm at work. I am so classy.
Randomize
