Yeah unless I can find some idiot to make love to
You were running around the house covered in syrup, with shredded down pillow feathers on your body screaming "AFLACK!" at everyone
I looked up to you, until I saw her walk out of your room.
Just saw a man being put through a dui test on the side of the road... it was noon and he was on a bicycle. God bless texas.
Apparently as she was dragging me out of the club, I was clinching onto this european guy screaming at Jenna: that's the 12th time you've cockblocked me tonight
The chick I hooked up with last night is my girlfriend older sister. Who is in town visiting. Who I just met. Who I just had dinner With. Who is here along with their parents and the whole family. How did my luck get so bad?
i'm currently connecting with my tribal roots aka i just found my recorder from 3rd grade music class... be ready for the recording
They seemed upset when they walked out and saw a penis in a mouth
Change the recording on your voicemail. He found your number and my ass print on the car hood.
There is someone out there for you right now. And we will find her. Or him. Her. Her, we'll start with tits.
He sent me off with a naked dance ending in a meat swing. I don't think I'll be seeing him again.
I saw his new girlfriend. She was flashing people, short and kinda chubby. I was happy with my life after that.
He went down on me and then made me breakfast in bed. He's a man you can bring home to mom.
Not to be hella graphic on main but I just came so hard I think I saw a new color.
I think I broke my dick but 10/10 would definitely do it again.
Randomize
