dude, you're being a jerk.
sorry, didn't mean to pull a Cheney
hey babe thanks for tonight, it was fun.
to be honest, i wanna fuck your friend.
who let me buy 6 packs of big league chew? and eat them all? thats not cool
If there is ever a next time, care about me enough to lube it up no matter what my drunk ass says
I couldn't tell if he was hitting on me or if he was just mentally challenged.
god, you should never be in the FBI. you'd give away america's secrets to any boy who asked.
The police are arresting two women who got in a fight for the last Twilight DVD at Best Buy. Classic.
I love how you are more concerned with what i call my penis than the fact i wanna bone some high school chicks
he obviously didn't care that i was sleeping and dreaming about ellen degeneres knitting me a christmas sweater.
god it feels good to gold a bottle of opiates again.
I think that typo was actually more appropriate than what you intended.
my one night stand just gave me money "to buy a better vibrator" tis the season
I wish I could send you one of those donuts I had. Like teleport it to you. Because it would change your life
He kept saying "Ayyyyyyy" during foreplay... during sex.... during everything! It felt like I was having sex with friggin Fonzie from Happy Days!
Dude there's ten thousand dollars worth of damage to the kids house and three thousand in stolen property and his dog is missing he is pissed
If I give him back his dog do you think he'll invite me to the next party
It's like a donut of clothes around a pair of heels. Like they were transported to another dimension naked.
Randomize