Paul doesn't remember going to the bar and slept on someone's porch...doesn't know whose porch...maybe near Howard U.
Dude, I just saw a bird vs. squirrel fight. A car won.
I found those 18 whoppers we bought.
Theres just something about looking at pictures of your dick in church that doesn't feel right
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I try to help out whenever I can. Speaking of rough nights I woke up half naked on Brady's couch with bloody paper towels duct taped to my foot.
What's the protocol when you drive the girl's head into the wall during sex and she starts to cry?
He'll choke me during sex but he won't eat a strip of bacon. Vegetarians are weird.
and it seems i've caught your masturbating bug. thanks.
Either I'm still drunk or the right side of the bed is now the left side.
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During sex his mom asks from the other side of the door, "Do you like avocados?" Who doesn't like avocados?
Stop your judging. I got free booze AND an oil change. You're the one whose always saying we're spending too much money.
If I can ever get control of my legs I will be home. Thanks... and again sorry about your bed.
We watched playoff games and fucked so we could both see the TV. I've now found true love.
I responded like every reasonable adult would. With a gif
Dude we just exchanged Zelda related pickup lines. I fell in love at "you can blow on my ocarina"
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