I'm looking for sex. Do you know her?
they just started talking about wanting to bang stephanie tanner from full house
I just saw a commercial that said "call your doctor if erections last more than 4 hours". I said "disgusting" and my mom said "I know, i hate when that happens." Get me out of here.
I remember asking you "need some dick tonite?"
Yeah I guess to me frat party equals penis party. oh the wonders of vodka.
You drew a self portrait of yourself on his wall with sharpie.
Vegas is awesome. Its like you have a kentucky accent girls automatically assume you don't have herpes.
they fed me a peach. i was laying on the floor telling them how beautiful they were
We are hot boxing the gondola
I hate everything.
When we were done making out, some guy ran into the room yelling, "I'll save you Brandon! I'll save you!"
Not going to lie: not even the fact I'm wearing men's cargo pants can hide the fact I have an awesome ass.
Every time our eyes meet, I silently summon him to my vagina.
I think I fucked someone on the flight home last night.
Drunk me also decided it would be funny to change all the passwords on my computer last night. Now I can't log into anything.
Okay first of all fuck you and everything you stand for because Taco Bell is amazing.
His name isnt in my phone as “Satan’s spawn” for no reason. #devildick
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