I dunno... she just cried a lot and I kept sighing.
I just found 51 cents in my bed. Did you leave me a tip?
Tonight I think I'm going to go out with a french braid so I don't wake up with puke hair. Thoughts?
And your mom thought you weren't even thinking about your future... she would be proud
the igloo is complete. bring your weed and the hat with the floppy ears
I found a fried uncrustable on the table from last night.
someone made her a trophy at 4 in the morning and presented it to her in the bathtub
FYI I just found your friend. Asleep. In. My. Kayak. In. Pool.
Last thing I remember is beer bonging sangria. Dear God.
Yeah. I had to take off my shirt. It's soaked in weakness.
you were drunkenly making out with a 20-something in front of your wife. at least the guy your wife left with was decent looking.
Classic dick move. Breaking up your buddies 3-some by coming into his room and doing the Harlem Shake.
By early evening I was shouting at the deeply Christian girl to suck my dick inbetween snorting lines of gatorade powder.
Pretty sure the guy at the Halloween party dressed as an ice cream man is working his way through the building without a care for gender or age. He high-fives me on his way out each morning.
I need to thank someone for this kid's penis.
I masterbated poison ivy onto my penis, it hasn't been this upset with me since the Take one for the team fiasco of 02.
Randomize
