He said he only talked to me because I talk dirty in bed.
I wish I has some fucking Fairy God Parents, I want a kit kat so bad.
my mom just emptied my water bottle filled with vodka into the turtle tank.
Haha. We better find him. He looked like he came out of Switzerland's vagina, he's that much of a blonde beauty.
There are taser marks on me. Your face flashed before my eyes when i woke up and saw them.
does it count as cheating if I'm bettering him for his girlfriend?
You should never talk to him again. Unless its you knocking on the door and punching his dick.
remember our old mantra: why can't life be as easy as we are?
She thought that based on the way she feels that she got drugged last night, but come on, her turn on word is hello, who needs to drug that??
Because her vagina is one of those illusive black holes that leads to a parallel universe where he is king and the sea is made of beer! That is why they are together!
And it was in that moment when I realized that these high schoolers looked up to me and that I should set a good example. So I stole a casserole and left.
Don't date the locals. They're all tainted.
I've had pants off for 3 hours now. America.
You're a wizard. You are a master of disguise. You are beautiful. I love you.
You wanna explain to me why there is a banana shoved down my pants?
Randomize
