Someone wrote that you're a whore in one of the bathroom stalls
I didn't know I was popular enough to be hated. This is awesome
My cat gives me a boner
I just did the classiest thing ever.
last time you said that you got chlamydia.
You thought that the "chillable" logo on the box wine was referring to a city in italy.
I heard porn and smelled bacon cooking. I knew you had to be home.
I just watched nsync videos for the past half hour and you could totally tell lance bass was gay in all of them
does the girl puking in my garbage belong to you?
We didn't have sex because he locked himself in the bathroom and passed out while he was taking a shit. I cuddled with his cat.
I'm eating cake, naked, in bed. I am GREAT at being single.
I feel like cursing someone's first born child right now. Like I wanna maleficent some bitch.
I was just thrown into the pool and now I'm surrounded by men... You would think this is the dream but I'm just confused
at any given day I am at least 60% invested in my work. today I am staggered around 3.5%
Send me a picture of our booze closet. I'm homesick.
EVEN AFTER ALL THAT COMPLAINING... STILL NO PENIS
I just hit 3 trees and a golf cart.. all on the same hole
Put me down for a bogey
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