Is it sad i was sitting here thinkin how i would only fuck Rob Pattinson if he was glittery at said time.
he said he wished he had more hands so he could firmly hold my boobs.
i cant do it anymore.. every time this girl orgasms she sounds like a motorcycle
I'm single as of 11 minutes ago. I was the chick who drunkenly tried to climb into bed with you 2 weeks ago. Wanna make this happen?
Bren left me with a lovely parting gift. Newfouund alcoholism. I'm on the kitchen floor, hugging a bottle of vodka. It's my only friend now.
You said that you were drinking out of a pan, and then went on to apologise to 'Jesus and all the other guys' for drinking on a Sunday.
The cute guy in my class hurt himself and is on crutches. My first thought was "Good. He'll be easier to take down." Like he's a gazelle and I'm a dick tiger. What's wrong with me?
These people don't understand my stages of drunk
My dream of watching a live dick sword fight might never be realized now. Currently sobbing, shots to follow
"YOU ALWAYS BEEN A HOE YOU ALWAYS GONE BE A HOE. THAT'S JUST THE WAY IT'S GONE BE." overheard at temple
THE HALLOWEEN QUEST WILL BE PICS OF US IN OUR COSTUMES IN EXCHANGE FOR DICK PICS. IT HAS BEEN DECIDED.
Banging to Billy Joel pandora is like russian roulette. But I made him cum to Let It Be so I we both walked away victors
I am going to paint butt plugs like little Christmas trees and give them as gifts.
You could paint cock rings as wreaths.
unless you want this visit to have a different tone... more romantic, less molly in a hotel room
I'm going to confession for the first time in 6 years. Where do I start, the gay sex or rampant alcoholism?
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