Steel Reserve is the RC Cola of alcohol. It's never ok.
if I end up fighting someone to save $15 on a toaster oven then something went wrong earlier in life
doing a bong hit while wearing crest white strips...not such a great idea...
so apparently dipping a tampon in red gatorade and throwing it out the window on the highway is a $100 fine
They don't exactly give out small business loans to start-up dealers
Thanksgiving break drinking is a marathon, not a sprint, and i need to be well rested
I found bruises on my neck from barfing out the window.
NEW RULE: can't hook up with more than 50% of the groomsmen in wedding party or it becomes wrong kind of weird. NUMBERS GAME.
Also he didn't buy condoms after we ran out last week. Luckily I had one, but I told him he should be more optimistic about getting laid
I get off at 11. but they've been letting me go early cuz I've been crying a lot
Through a complicated series of events, I wound up in the desert with a blue chick from comic-con. we lost peter. if you're alive, please come get us.
Yeah I passed out. The last thing I remember is the lady telling me I couldn't play the clarinet with my nose.
Stop trying to get me to choose vodka over a nap
this strobe light makes my body turn on and off
I think my time would be better spent seducing the TA then trying to save this paper.
Randomize
