Tried killing a moth in our bathroom. Water everywhere. Don't worry about it.
i found her turbo button.....if you know what i mean.
I would give my right arm to go back to college. Or maybe not. Would be kinda hard to pick up guys with one arm. Then again, knowin what I do now...I could take any freshman bithc with only one arm.
I am a mess. Weirdest thing: I woke up with a hammer under my pillow. No idea why.
I wonder what a non-hungover friday at work is like
Frozen waffles and wine. Loneliness-party of one
I may or may not juuuust be reaching the point where I find some humor from waking up in the parking lot at the standard.
It looks like sephora exploded on his dick, so i assumed I was the second girl that gave him head that night.
Announcement: Given the sad circumstances regarding the death of my dearest friend Chong the Bong, there will be a brief memorial service for him tomorrow evening at 10:30 at my place. After sharing some memories and sending his spirit off to the great bowl in the sky, we will all take place in the commemoration and maiden voyage of his son, Chong Squared, who eagerly waits to meet all of you. High blessings to you all, piece be with you.
I told him I was on the pill and it was OK to fire away. I want to never have to wear panty house or ever go to an office again. This is my early retirement plan. I want half of his NBA money.
WE SHOULD MAKE A WORKOUT ROUTINE CALLED BARCARDIO
You got Broadway Drunk, dude. I haven't heard you sing "Music Of The Night" like that since the last time I was holding you up on the way to the subway at two in the morning.
1) break up with him. 2) feel bad. 3) fuck some other guy. 4) feel better. Boom! Life plan. You're welcome.
My New Year's resolution consists of less weekday hangovers, more sex, and more money.
I just remembered I casually gave you a tour of the house after we boned...lol
Randomize
