but i got with him after midnight so its technically 2 days
I was so high I couldn't tell if they were goosebumps or herpes.
I drank mimosas and played bocce ball in the middle of finals week...now i know how Comm majors feel all the time.
No, you always delete them without reading. Enjoy the virtue of morning innocence. What are you doing today.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I said I was going to sleep an hour ago. Now I'm making plans to get high with the guy who mows your lawn.
I cannot believe he got soft mid fuck. I just hope he bought that horrible impression you did of my dad. I love you though, you came in clutch tonight.
It was the least I could do after throwing up in your purse.
She is screaming bc she thinks you jumped out the window...please show her you just went out for a smoke
She told me she's dating him because his apartment is a block from Taco Bell. I don't know how she's not fat.
Omg. The news was on TV while I was giving him a bj...when the weatherman said its a beautiful start to December, he groaned and said it sure is.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You tried to pay for our cab with the 2 dollars you got from selling your natty ice outside the strip club.
New rule. Every time you and I have a disagreement that lasts longer than 10min, while in a bar, we'll have a shot. Figure we'll eventually start agreeing sooner rather than later...
Send me another check for the tickets. I scratched out "anal wax" and now the bank won't take it.
I just ran into the woods like an idiot because ADVENTURE.
So I'm not dead, but close call. I think I can handle one more bar.
I was just at Kroger and saw some guy with a steelers balloon... ran up to him and popped it. NO RAGRETS.
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