You're in luck. The brownies don't even have butter, just vege oil
An eyelash just fell out into my container of rice. Searching for it, i took a single piece of rice out at a time coming to the coclusion that i should not be this high while eating rice.
my brother is a facebook fan of two things: God, and Rhianna. if he's not a prime example of the rare "baptist closeted gay," i don't know who is.
Are they hot? And are the slutty? These are my concerns for any wedding. You say yes, and yes, I will be your best man
Well, there goes the no drunk sex injuries resolution.
BECKY! ITS ANDY FROM LAST NIGHT WITH THE PILL
Andy, Sorry you have the wrong number. But good luck with Becky!
The 3 year old I'm babysitting is the first guy to tell me he loves me sober in like 2 years
He told me to be careful with the shrooms because he mostly had caps left. He sounded apologetic but that's the best news all week.
I hope you get eaten by satanic starfish.
You made me take a photo of you under the stairs at the bar. "Look I'm Harry Potter."
What was the name of that sleazy asshole I'm not allowed to sleep with?
dude the dog literally grabbed the condom out of the trash can and threw it in the air i'm screaming
Think of the things uve done in the past. And ask urself "have I done worse?" If u answer yes. Its perfectly ok.
We had an argument over whether or not she had super strength. She settled it by dragging me to the bed room and throwing me on the bed. Then forcefully fucking me. She won the argument.
I can't decide which is the most disgusting: emily having sex on the stairwell of a frat, michelle shaving her vagina with a razor she found in a frat bathroom, or me getting fingered on the dance floor by some rando. opinions?
Randomize
