no but I have been chillin' like em' homeboys in the rainforest yo!
two words: fractured penis. two more: emergency room.
woke up in my one night stand's bed and barfed all over her floor. she came back from the bathroom, looked at the vomit, looked at me and said "normally i'd tell you to clean it and get the fuck out, but i remember the sex was good, so i'll let it go." Score.
Showering in the handicapped shower. Im THAT hungover.
On a positive note, new entry in my phone as 'HOT ASS, DOWN TO FUCK'. idk if its a boy or girl tho.
Update, its a couple
Everything that you guys said happened came back to me. like a tidal wave of regret.
I'm babysitting my fucking roommate he took out the screen and is trying to throw dishware in our fucking pool after he repelled off our balcony
I have never smelled more like a drunk mariachi band than I do right now.
Omg it was awesome. At one point she says "cum in me, I'm too old to get pregnant".
It's 1pm, she's in the shower, I don't have the guts tell her I wasn't her blind date. Someone got stood up.
At least his std test came back clean, gotta look at the positives here
did you just try to prove your straightness by quoting a lady gaga song?
going on fb and having 11 notifications all from you is absolutely horrifying
To be honest, I'm more surprised when you're not high at this point
I’ve jerked off three times and taken five shits already today. Being hung over in your 40’s is a fucking roller coaster.
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