omg. I had the wrong window open and I accidentaly posted my credit card # on twitter
Whats your twitter name
I feel like if your cat could talk she would call me a cunt.
As long as you don't die I'm in full support of your drinking decisions
I'm going to email her once I get off the bathroom floor
No, pictures of your dick will not make me feel better about my grandmother having a brain tumor.
Just painted my nails at the bar... I may be getting too comfortable here.
You know how hard it is to jerk off in a bathtub with a dog staring at you?
Last night I had sex with one of the groomsmen I was in the wedding with. In a stairwell. 13 years my senior. Thinking I should retire from the bridesmaid gig.
Fuck romance. Just shaved my nipples in the shower because I felt like it. That's the life I'm about.
I woke up in a bath tub and my face was sore and it wasn't because of you, I was impressed
I tried to have sex on someone's sisters horse last night
He didn't have much of a personality. But I had like 100 orgasms, so that's cool.
Not sure who they are or where we're going but they just bought me 3 tacos so I'm staying.
While she was pissing on the neighbors shrubs, they threatened to call the cops...she mumbled 'don't threaten me with a good time", so to answer your question, yes she was drunk.
I just slept for fifteen hours straight. It's like my body knows i'm drinking with you and is preparing..
Randomize
