...So a 6 ft tall drag queen in heels I would kill for just told me I have a dunkable ass. I'm confused...but I'll take any compliment I can.
the best part was when he threw his debit card on the table, looked at everyone and said "turn this into pizza!" It felt like a scene in a 'coming of age' teen comedy.
The worst part is I think my tongue cut his penis and now he wont talk to me.
i feel like an archaelogyst. im pulling apart last weeks brownies to find the weed in them
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just so you know, if you are not feeling well today it's cause you drank a gatorade bottle full of highlighter fluid.
it wasn't until he got that douchey haircut that i started regretting sleeping with him
Well, our assistant supervisor caught us on the back stairs...he invited us on a double date with his fiance and him. I guess our job approves of the relationship?
i threw up in his garden in front of like five people smoking a joint. they let me have a hit after i was done so it was okay
He has an accent, blue cross AND gainful employment. Just saying, he's going to urgent care once I'm done with him
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's sad that I'm more proud of my Twitter account then my resume
She was a little thick, but we banged on the beach and fireworks went off as we finished so I think God wanted it
Well I got black out drunk before the rehearsal dinner and berated my family with insults. But other then that it was a good time
I told my parents how nice the girl at the frogurt store was. I neglected to mention that I nearly lost my virginity to her via foursome.
I threw my back out having sex last night. I don’t know whether to high five myself for a job well done or cry because I’m old.
Like he was cock blocking and it usually takes ten cocks to block this cock
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