Brogan sounds similar to Bridget...sorta.
Every girl's name is automatically translated to "Baby/Milk Carrier" in my brai
I just followed a trail of feathers and glitter to class. Today better be fucking magical.
I haven't been "cry when you eat ben and jerrys" high in a while.
She checked into foursquare right as she left work so he would think she was there late and not on some other guy's dick
I have to say for barely passing high school, that girl is a genius.
My doctor literally wrote on the script NO SEX
Go ahead. I tried to back up ur budhism story but she mite be catching on
Dammit. I hoped that would work. Just tell her I'm doing my pilgrmidge to Nepal or something.
As you were leaving the bar you grabbed a table and when they stopped you, you said "Its cool i came in with this". They did not believe you.
His morals are debatable, but his heart or perhaps his penis is in the right place.
His penis is crooked. Right place? Maybe he starts there, but then he slants.
I left after my shirt got dropped in the toilet thinking that there was absolutely no good that could happen the rest of the evening. I hear I was very wrong.
He told me he felt like he was just pistol-whipped by Testicle Man.
I just folded my boss's lingerie. I need a drink and a raise
It turned from Netflix and chill to cringeworthy YouTube videos and chill. At least he's honest.
We got drunk, we had raw sex and we discussed about the showrunner change in Doctor Who, in that order.
I’m drunk and naked and looking for my charger - title of my autobiography.
You let the ASEXUAL teach sex Ed?!
Randomize
