Plan A DEFINITELY worked... Go with me to get Plan B??
It's just like riding a horse. A very tall, gay horse.
This hangover is so bad, we are pregaming Chinese food with pizza.
You know I found it really difficult to find a full lenght picture for the egg donor site where I wasn't holding any alcohol...
Annnnd I didn't even notice there is a guy dancing in a jock strap beside me. That explains girls smiling at me
So I found a skull ring inside me this morning. I'm assuming its yours, so I'll leave it in my mailbox for you - it looks expensive.
I think I just danced on the bar. With a man named Alabama.
Thank you for turning 21. I'm going to love reading your texts.
U have successfully fucked my brains out. I just almost put deodorant on like chapstick
He danced with some other girls and you started yelling "I can't believe I wasted half my Chili's gift card on you" at him
I've orgasmed so many times tonight I think I've become enlightened
I had my room mate call my phone after last night and it was in an uncooked quesadilla
the worst fight me and my gf ever had was over Guy fieri
after stripping the bed and soaking it with the "pet spot remover" I have, I decided in the best interest of my mattress and our drunk friends bladders, i should invest in rubber sheets.
Get over your kidney infection all ready. You have been sober for too long.
How do I sound like a lady while communicating the fact that I want his dick in my mouth?
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