My Higher Power is John Stamos
dude i dont realllllly have to fuck her do i? its just a mess down there and i think im gonna cry
He had an itunes playlist named "def not Glee season 1" which contained all of Glee season 1
Oh, I'm sorry. I'd rather be "doable" than "the fat chick"
We just made a drinking game out of our chemistry review. This might explain my chemistry grade.
Hhahaha he is. Omg the new polish friend just took his pants off in front of me. There is something wrong with this nationality.
There was just way too much discussion about my penis at that party
No more going to class sober.. Tried it for a day or two, its just not for me
Ryan Reynolds is on sesame street right now. Dressed as a letter A but still sexy as fuck. PBS is so considerate of the stay at home mom.
I taught a straight girl about grindr today. She showed me tinder. It was like some sexual cultural exchange program
I want to die, ON THAT, with that INSIDE ME. ironically, I sense that would be the only time I'd feel alive.
i got pulled over completely sober but looking like death. dick cop made me do a field sobriety test. he also said "no sober person could have 7 BK bags"
It’s like I’m living in some alternate wet dream universe right now
She told us she had powers and that eating tree bark cures the shits.
I'm eating Arby's in the bathtub because I'm an adult and I do what I want
Randomize
