Contrary to popular belief, while 19 is an attractive age, it does not equate to sexual prowess.
I don't want to have to wonder if I'm draining my pasta in the same side of the sink you pissed in
you said you get the best orgasms off Pez dispensers. how do you think he felt????
Don't pass out before midnight like you did last year. See how much your year sucked
can you call in chlamydia to work? like if the antibiotics they gave you for it are giving you the shits...
we're using his nephews tonka truck toy as a cooler for the beer
Haha pretty bummed I didn't stay night yesterday after the bj fest you described
People were running around punching out the ceiling tiles Super Mario style.
So you told me to remind you that you vomited 3 times in the street because you would forget so here is your reminder
Frankly, since I met you, I practically exist in a state of constant readiness for sex
Yeah. I couldn't figure out why my toes hurt. Apparently, the guy I was dancing with, kept running them over with his wheelchair.
I am texting my fuck buddy about fucking tonight, while facebook chatting with his wife about food.
my ex finally blocked me on all social media and tbh I'm only pissed because his roomate just got a puppy
We need to get walkie talkies for when we're drunk so if we are at different parties or lost we can talk
Highlight your past hook-ups. You've been stabbed, shot at, run over, and chased down the road...no you can't bring new bar bitch over here!
Dude she has a friend!!!!
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