I wanna bring you to show and tell
When the moon hits your eye like a big pizza pie, you're a dumbass
ok what kind of idiot turns down casual afternoon sex?
he just payed for our date, after telling him I was leaving early to meet my fuck buddy. is there something lower than friendzone I can stick this guy in?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
By the end of the cruise, there was literally nothing in our room he hadn't peed on.
So many lesbians keep hitting on me. I'm about to give up and just go home with the manliest one.
Woaahhhh there! We are JUST drunk fucking. Don't call me "baby".
Full contact beer pong was definitely not my best idea.
My crowning drunk achievement from that night was donating $5 to the Obama campaign.
You're perfect
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So some drunk guy just tried to convince me with all of his passion that bacon is a color
Pretty sure I was impersonating Rihanna when I kept asking him what my name was while we were making out
Whoever was doing lines off my iPad is a dick. Also bring Gatorade, for I hunger
For Who flesh?
I just found those cheese sticks in my purse. Along with a handful of confetti.
His mom let me come to his house for a Booty call at 4am. She even cooked us breakfast in the morning and told me im a better moaner than his girlfriend of 4yrs.
After the 2nd person threw up, you told us that your 'mint shooters' were just shots of mint mouthwash
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