You picked the wrong day to call in sick. She's wearing the librarian glasses today.
he was wearing sponge bob boxers. Guess how long he lasted.
Woke up with my foot jammed into a VCR
There are work activities and non work activities and dunking my head in a bucket of ice water pulling it out and shotguning a beer is certainly not a work activity
but you must be fair and judge his penis by normal penis standards and not let your vision be clouded by the rare gem of a penis you have recently encountered
But he made me breakfast and understands the fuck sleep fuck sleep necessities
I totally gave him head in sync to Beastie Boy's Sabotage playing in the background.
Koalas always seemed like really high little puppy kittens to me.
Look on the bright side: Now that I'm sleeping with both the exs it's good bye to drunk sexting the 'wrong one'.
He's probably the biggest I've seen outside of the porn I vehemently deny watching and he asks if I think he's too small
You spent like 10 minutes trying to hit a golf ball that was actually a cigarette butt. And then fell over.
You don't know how small your school is until you know everyone in the ER on a Friday night.
its 2pm and were already starting beer pong...its gonna be a good night
My freshman suitemate just walked into the kitchen to find my fuck buddy making chicken enchiladas without me anywhere to be found. Awkward or awesome?
It's a classy one I promise! Their toilets are cushioned an tier wifi is named hummingbird
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