My milkshake brings 85 to 90 percent of the boys to the yard
What's the name of that girl you hooked up with? The one that looks like the fire hose sign.
he said 'i love fucking you, ashley'. it was the most romantic thing he's said during sex because he actually used my name.
We're doing a case race on Saturday.
I'm in. I'm currently drinking a beer in the bathtub so I guess I can consider this "practice" and not just "alcoholism"
She spent a lot of time to get her cleavage to look that good. It would be rude not to stare. It shows you are paying attention. Chicks dig that.
It's sad the highlight of the night was you didn't electrocute yourself again.
Your cum is still running out of me. I pity the next person that tries these jeans on....
holy fuck that shirt looks so good on him, it was like he was born with it on. that shirt deserves a blow
I was just informed that I have the perfect belly button for body shots... Best compliment ever.
Seriously, don't even. "Hi, have I seen you half naked covered in bright red body paint on the internet?" is NOT acceptable water-cooler chit-chat.
Aw.
Roomie questionaires don't ask any of the important questions like "how do you feel about one night stands" and "will you judge me post-walk of shame"
I feel so bad for your roommate
She's legally too young to drink and was making out with a guy who is ethically too old to drink.
three guys with a tattoo of the Walmart rollback smiley holding up a middle finger on their ass=free drinks in every bar
You put on some guys Birkenstocks that were abandoned on the dance floor overtop of your flats. Then ran out of the bar high gives the bouncer and said "look at my new kicks" then he was like woah wait a minute someone is missing those and made you return them. You were very upset
I've entered the world of uncircumcised penises. It's disgusting.
Randomize
