I keep trying to leave, but for some reason I'm staying
I was being facetious
Don't try to hide behind big words.
Reason #82 that I need to get laid: my pubes are getting split ends.
you ate skittles off the table like a hungry hungry hippo. it was awesome.
21 People Confess What It’s Really Like At An Orgy
well..after leaving the bar you handed me your wallet and said you didnt need it cause you were going to find the cash cab and added 'i'll see you on tv'
I just showed my boobs to our astate representative hahahahahahha
My brother brings gifts into my room to wrap them. It's a pizza cutter and a box of condoms..
If we have to be apart I understand. Being separated is probably best for our relationship now. I look forward to our booty calls.
I don't care what we do tonight, as long as it makes me forget that my boyfriend just told me he likes taking it up the ass from big guys dressed as construction workers
These 15 Honest Illustrations Show What Women Do When No One Is Watching
Found my shoes and purse. They're all strapped together in my neighbor's tree. Need to borrow your ladder. Thanks in advance
He ate me out like a beaver on a tree. I've never been so scared in my life
With the drought our water bill is skyrocketing. No more shower sex, masturbating, or pretending to be under a water fall after smoking a blunt.
When I see myself in tank tops and push up bras I seriously wonder why I'm not President.
The words "me," "sober," and "new years eve" do not go together. Ever.
You should come over tomorrow. Wine, pizza and my vagina. Those are all great things.