By the end of the second bowl I was making sound effects to every hand movement he made.
What are you wearing to our high school reunion?
I don't know, What kind of dress says "I feel sorry for you people?"
Grab the Coors Light. Its time to get NASCAR drunk
my little brother just told me that I should start chasing my vodka with slim fast. genious.
My mom just asked me if I was gay in front of my gf
i dont want to stoop that low. but my dick does.
She's the barista slut.
What's life without a lamp shade you wore home?
I CAN CONTROL MY GERBIL WITH MY BREATH. HE FOLLOWS THE SMELL. PROBABLY WOULDNT BE AS EXCITING IF I WASNT HIGH OFF MY ASS, BUT STILL
The part of "Dave" will now be played by "Rob." Rob, why don't you unzip and show Dave why that is.
In order to save time, dignity and liver damage, wanna get naked?
Alas, I cannot find a male suitor sharing my affinity for sport culture who will both manhandle me and treat me with the respect a young Hillary supporter wants and deserves
Ex-boyfriend shit on a ping pong table at a party last night. Taking "party pooper" to a whole new level.
It shouldn't be this hard to find someone who you haven't blown.
Bachelorette party buss just rolled into down town. DTF, "horny hotties inside" and "show us your dicks" written on the windows....this could get interesting.
Randomize
