i freaking love being in a circle of guys. if i fart none of them suspect me.
why did they invent bidet's? your butt gets clean when your poop falls in the toilet and splashes up anyway...
im so drunk with asians
where?
always
If I had a nickel for every time my parents threatened to stop paying tuition I would be a very rich man. Rich enough to pay my own tuition.
Just walked by a group of guys calling out walks of shame with a mega phone from their front porch.
he walked in on you at the party drunkenly dancing alone on the bed wearing mardi gras beads, sunglasses, and using one ski pole as a microphone.... and you STILL got laid. i dont get your life.
I'm too drunk to be surrounded by this many indians
How do you manage to be drunk and a racial minority so often?
I'm so hungover that if we go to panera, I'll probably get a bread bowl to throw up in.
Tonights drinking will be celebratory and victorious. Picture the end of The Mighty Ducks set to beer.
I have learned that if you don't want to hook up with the guy who walked you home, food is great compensation.
this is definitely the first time I've ever had an orgasm and then had potatoes smeared on me within the same hour
come over we're fb stalking guys who were dressed as bananas last night because i can't remember which one i blew
It's like if you wanna bond just do a ropes course or have group sex you don't have to be weird about it
i'm 99% sure they had an orgy while i was passed out
It was sweet, he carried me out of my bathroom after I passed out, built me a pillow fort so I wouldn't roll out of bed, set a glass of water on the table, and brought me a mixing bowl to puke in. Totally a sign we're more than just fuckbuddies.
Randomize
