no, he's only a walking dick if he mans up. right about now he's just a walking transgender.
been sitting in chapter for 25 minutes. drinking last night's franzia out of a XXX vitamin water 10 bottle. recruitment chair has no idea. life is good.
just got super drunk mixing jägermeister with my lyme disease meds. even if my face goes paralyzed, at least i got smashed from it.
I feel like we had some profound moment last night, but I can't really recall much past your ass turning up the volume on the radio.
my hip hurts so fuckin bad. and I just found a half eaten burrito in my nightstand drawer.
Don't make fun of the drunk girl eating bread out of her pockets. I've been that girl.
It was fun, but I mean, any day that starts with shower tequila is bound to be good.
KEG. KEG. THE OPERA HAS A KEG. KEG STAND IN A TUX. AFTER PARTY RAVE AND KEG STANDS.
I had not one but two drunk coworkers text me and hit on me tonight. I feel like I've finally been accepted into my dysfunctional workplace
I'm pretty sure there a million tiny ninjas in my uterus poking me with sticks.
So he just rolled you off his dick and fell on the floor?
Painting strippers breast and vaginas to look like easter eggs. What r u doing tonight.
Sooooo drunk. We had the best sex ever and after he looked at me and said "That's whats up". I looked at him weird and he said "Young Jeezy would say it" and passed out on me naked. I think i might be in love
Just met my future wife. Please dont fuck her.
this dude is way too smart. he just explained to me the different scientific components of drugs while we smoked. i said i loved icecream.
Randomize
