the star wars geek is hitting on me, and is talking about his lightsaber. need back up NOW
He poured syrup on all those broken dishes because "syrup is magical, and by the time we wake up, they'll be fixed."
good it was pretty cute, also what would bong water do to a puppy?
Can we just ponder our lives for a second.
No I think my brain may implode in a puff of cocaine and sparkles.
the good news is that i vommed the last of my humanity last night.
welcome to the club.
I asked you if you needed a ride and you kept saying "no, my name is katelyn"
1 tequila 2 tequila 3 tequila, floor.
*roof
I didn't even have pants on and you think I had an agenda
I actually had to apologize for "being too aggressive about harry potter"
Me and you. The most fucked up people on the planet drinking together. Hell yeah
I feel awful. The bartender added me on Facebook and there's chips all over the bathroom floor
Why is there never any toilet paper at his apartment? What does he wipe his ass with? WHAT DOES HE WIPE IT WITH?!?
That awkward moment when you hear your boss yelling during sex while you're on her couch eating Easy Mac.
I haven't lost it. I know I'm not a prophet. It was a joke.
After the edible you claimed you were talking to my cat. We're in our 30s now, what was once cute is now a liability.
is it sad that a disney movie is making me horny?
Randomize
