i just drank a strangers drink off a toilet
I don't know which is more embarrassing, the fact that I shat on the floor today or that I told you about it.
dude your alot more fun to hang out around now that your addicted to coke...but seriously you need to stop
Whats a good hint for stop bitching im gonna give you head
throwing up in the shower isnt as glamorous as i expected
since when the fuck is that glamorous?
oh my god. separately texting an Allie and an Ally while drunk is hard, and I'm climbed 1/2 way up a bridge pier.
Just had such a rough shit, don't stop believin had to be played
I succsesfully kept my nipples in my dress all night. Even when I got in a fight. I was made for the bar.
Every shot buddy I have I end up blowing. I don't know whether this pattern is good or bad.
i'm not saying you're gay. i'm just saying all my gay friends think you have a great ass.
I got really upset about missing him last night when I was demonstrating penis sizes of the people I've slept with using a tape measurer to my roommates
We walking to the game and some random guy came up to to me and yelled "hey you're the whiskey guy!" And then high fived me then walked away
Its nights like last night that make me want to high five my liver.
i just found a pair of your underwear stuffed behind my harry potter books...was that on purpose?
haha no, it was majik
I blacked out after the piñata full of condoms
Randomize
