her teeth looked like a whores toenails, i was too horrified to
this guy literally just gave me a gold star sticker for the "stellar" blow job i gave him. ashamed? i think not.
those 9 inches of man changed my life forever.
at what point did putting a bag of doritos in the freezer seem like a really good idea?
My name in their phones is "That Girl". If i can't get it to go away, I might as well live up to it.
youre always welcome to strip dance on tables with me Mag. what are friends for.
Imagine Captain Hook, but in penis form and sometimes shy.
Why do you need me to cover for work?
I wouldn't say NEED but lets just say I smell like guacamole and semen.
Trial is expected to last a fucking week if I get chosen.
To be fair, you are the kind of person I want to be on the jury when I inevitably end up in front of one.
Koalas always seemed like really high little puppy kittens to me.
Jill you already won the game by finding a dude who will fuck you in flamingo knee socks. Theres no hope for the rest of us
I can already tell, the amount of fun I'm having right now is not nearly going to compensate for the amount of "let us never speak of this again" I'm gonna have tomorrow
I'm only bisexual one week out of the month. Nothing like ovulation hormones to make the genders of my hookups seem completely irrelevant.
Today I learned that I have a bigger dick than Draymond Green
Hey I'm trying to get back with my ex I'mm done doing whatever we were doing I hope things workout for you
Weird flex but ok.
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