Texts From Last Night

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  (718): View more from New York

  There's a dildo in the cheerios box here...

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  (718): There's a dildo in the cheerios box here... http://tfl.nu/sohe
  Replies (12) Good night (1356) Bad night (622)
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  (413): View more from Massachusetts

  when I scratched it gently some sort of watery looking stuff came out...so then I just stopped thinknig about it.

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  (413): when I scratched it gently some sort of watery looking stuff came out...so then I just stopped thinknig about it. http://tfl.nu/zw8b
  Replies (9) Good night (581) Bad night (2146)
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  (408): View more from California

  and pubic hair rears its ugly head again

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  (408): and pubic hair rears its ugly head again http://tfl.nu/ouhf
  Replies (72) Good night (661) Bad night (3423)
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  (631): View more from New York

  I just heard someone say "gosh-darnit" and they didn't have a southern twang. I worry for New York.

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  (631): I just heard someone say "gosh-darnit" and they didn't have a southern twang. I worry for New York. http://tfl.nu/aty3
  Replies (22) Good night (1105) Bad night (3576)
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  (404): View more from Georgia

  I'm guessing "whatever I can get" wasn't the reply the nurse wanted when asking what med I need. Oh, and asked for a cartoon band-aid.

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  (404): I'm guessing "whatever I can get" wasn't the reply the nurse wanted when asking what med I need. Oh, and asked for a cartoon band-aid. http://tfl.nu/v3pa
  Replies (9) Good night (4469) Bad night (1025)
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  (+82): View more from South Korea

  Need a travel agent to tell me which countries in Asia have legalized prostitution for New Year. Fireworks would be cool too.

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  (+82): Need a travel agent to tell me which countries in Asia have legalized prostitution for New Year. Fireworks would be cool too. http://tfl.nu/v8p8
  Replies (6) Good night (2431) Bad night (1185)
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  (204): View more from Manitoba

  Food Network. Taking bong rips everytime we want to eat. BOBBY FLAY.

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  (204): Food Network. Taking bong rips everytime we want to eat. BOBBY FLAY. http://tfl.nu/elym
  Replies (11) Good night (2871) Bad night (952)
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  (780): View more from Alberta, CA

  Under no circumstances is it ok to do naked cartwheels in front of anyone. i don't care how much ecstasy you took

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  (780): Under no circumstances is it ok to do naked cartwheels in front of anyone. i don't care how much ecstasy you took http://tfl.nu/mwwf
  Replies (8) Good night (2367) Bad night (716)
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  (910): View more from North Carolina

  Well still if someone cared enough about u to wish an unwanted child or a disease on u ..u must have been doing something right

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  (910): Well still if someone cared enough about u to wish an unwanted child or a disease on u ..u must have been doing something right http://tfl.nu/sp80
  Replies (6) Good night (757) Bad night (1196)
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  (303): View more from Colorado

  Dude he's the best wing man ever. He starts creepin' on a woman, and she clings on to you out of fear.

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  (303): Dude he's the best wing man ever. He starts creepin' on a woman, and she clings on to you out of fear. http://tfl.nu/k7jc
  Replies (18) Good night (3707) Bad night (647)
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  (910): View more from North Carolina

  Why is everyone else growing up when I'm just crying, eating, and having pregnancy scares?

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  (910): Why is everyone else growing up when I'm just crying, eating, and having pregnancy scares? http://tfl.nu/w5f4
  Replies (16) Good night (731) Bad night (1588)
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  (308): View more from Nebraska

  The shit I just took made me regret every life decision leading up to it.

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  (308): The shit I just took made me regret every life decision leading up to it. http://tfl.nu/le1i
  Replies (5) Good night (600) Bad night (954)
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  (269): View more from Michigan

  They were swingers. Real swingers. Thought it was going to be awesome until some fat guy tried to put my dick in his mouth.

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  (269): They were swingers. Real swingers. Thought it was going to be awesome until some fat guy tried to put my dick in his mouth. http://tfl.nu/6jfd
  Replies (10) Good night (443) Bad night (1434)
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  (919): View more from North Carolina

  Nothing says besties like laying naked in bed hungover arguing over who is getting the pants

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  (919): Nothing says besties like laying naked in bed hungover arguing over who is getting the pants http://tfl.nu/k1dy
  Replies (4) Good night (846) Bad night (300)
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  (903): View more from Texas

  Also there's a home game tomorrow and I thought about holding up a sign that says, "I madeout with #64 during orientation week" would that be inappropriate??

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  (903): Also there's a home game tomorrow and I thought about holding up a sign that says, "I madeout with #64 during orientation week" would that be inappropriate?? http://tfl.nu/wozc
  Replies (6) Good night (737) Bad night (322)

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