we went back to her place to bone only to find her boyfriend having sex.. with MY girlfriend
You are not answering and I think it is because you spent 80 dollars worth of drinks on you hot cousin.
i told the doctor i drank a college amount of alcohol. judgemental prick
I can do it, this is my punishment and I will accept it, plus id like to see the look on peoples faces when I throw up on them
In college, I had one standard. Penis. A lot has changed since then. Now I really only have one standard. Breathing.
I knew it was time to stop when you guys were playing a drinking game called "every three steps take a drink"
This is actually a pretty big deal for him. I mean, he contacted a stranger out of concern for someone else instead of for sex.
That does show growth.
my spring break was before theirs and i literally fed him vodka all week, only stopping for class and bowls. like handles. i cant even think anymore, that chastity belt was hard to get off,
I'm just saying, I walked in on you blowing a burrito. I now understand how obsessed you are with Taco Bell. And how long it's been since you've got some.
How about to stay friends we only have sex on our birthdays. Maybe national holidays too. And days we get really drunk. Wanna get really drunk?
You know how I said I hit my head so hard I saw two of him and tried to make out with both? Well, it turns out he has a twin.
So adding to the list of things my boobs can do, sweeping with a broom is apparently a thing.
Oh man I missed being single! Two different guys just sent me dick pics during my kid’s little league game.
I'm like the kinda excited when David After Dentist stands up in his seat, screams, and collapses
Just woke up beside some twink in a kilt.. how is your sunday going
Randomize
