ADVERTISEMENT

• (847): View more from Illinois

  i blew a .213 what kind of thug blows the compton area code exactly? this guy

  Fav 110 15440 1797

  share tweet
  

• (613): View more from Ontario

  New requirements. My future husband must have a nose ring and wear headbands.

  (1-613): View more from Ontario

  We are no longer friends.

  Fav 28 1213 3918

  share tweet
  
ADVERTISEMENT

• (309): View more from Illinois

  I ran a string through all of my old vicodin bottles and strung them on the tree. Tis the season.

  Fav 14 3880 1507

  share tweet
  

• (614): View more from Ohio

  And im sorry for wishing your girlfriend gets genital warts.

  Fav 5 1298 2685

  share tweet
  
• 

  Here’s Everything Coming To Netflix This July

  Read it at the TFLN blog
  

• (763): View more from Minnesota

  i'm already feeling the tequila hangover i'm going to have on friday

  Fav 3 2305 1106

  share tweet
  

• (503): View more from Oregon

  I look like a zombie and smell like a stripper. Its gonna be a good day.

  Fav 12 1866 921

  share tweet
  
ADVERTISEMENT

• (570): View more from Pennsylvania

  yep you were here saturday. if you woke up smelling like vanilla i can explain.

  Fav 4 1332 742

  share tweet
  

• (563): View more from Iowa

  Nothing says Merry Christmas like gifting a bottle of rum and finishing it yourself then leaning over at the dinner table to puke it back up.

  Fav 0 595 978

  share tweet
  

• (815): View more from Illinois

  I can get stoned and we can bake and then I can eat 70% of it and it will be awesome

  Fav 1 720 496

  share tweet
  
• 

  19 Of The Creepiest (Most Inexplicable) Things People Experienced

  Read it at the TFLN blog
  

• (651): View more from Minnesota

  Seriously. Are we going out tonight? If we're not, I'm going to put on sweatpants and do drugs.

  Fav 1 650 279

  share tweet
  

• (506): View more from New Brunswick

  who knew my inner goddess was such a whore

  Fav 3 482 146

  share tweet
  
ADVERTISEMENT

• (618): View more from Illinois

  learned the hard way that breakfast jack daniels is a lot stronger than lunch or dinner jack daniels.

  Fav 2 180 103

  share tweet
  

• (712): View more from Iowa

  I should probably eat a Plan B. Pill for breakfast. Happy Halloween.

  Fav 0 27 38

  share tweet
  

• (870): View more from Arkansas

  Have you ever looked at someone and thought…oh honey, you're too pretty for an ankle monitor

  Fav 1 33 36

  share tweet
  
ADVERTISEMENT

• (586): View more from Michigan

  i’m blowing bubbles in my bloody mary so yeah it’s pretty much time to go

  Fav 0 11 16

  share tweet
  

Randomize