Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(919): View more from North Carolina

I developed a drinking game for WoW. Everytime I die, I take a shot.

(1-919): View more from North Carolina

Please get laid.

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(319): View more from Iowa

I'm so ready for finals. She finally agreed to skypesex me from spain so now i'm up until 4am studying every morning waiting for her to get online

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(214): View more from Texas

I asked her if she was the outdoorsy type, she replied "I had sex on a fourwheeler once, does that count?"

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(206): View more from Washington

No. Do you know how much this carpet cost? If she comes over, you put down towels this time. i'm so not kidding.

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These 23 People Share the Worst Advice They’ve Been Given
Read it at the TFLN blog
(512): View more from Texas

I didn't know what to do with her so I just tied her to a bench.

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(204): View more from Manitoba

I have way too big of a thanksgiving food baby to enjoy any of my old high school booty calls

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(860): View more from Connecticut

I'm petting the cat while shitting. This is all I ever wanted

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(214): View more from Texas

How does one acquire holy water?

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(937): View more from Ohio

Puked in the trash can. Took a bite of someone's breadstick and kept dancing and drinking

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