I'd be more interested in girls if they were more interested in anal.
You basically tried to anal probe my passed out friend with a lamp
Suuuuuuper drunk and just sang fuck her gently to the chiminea. I'm in bad shape.
Can't promise anything, there's vodka in my thermos
Satisfying Perfect Camera Moments
I just bought the ATT family protection plan so that I could block all of my old bar hookups from booty calling me...
When I realised he had a girlfriend I just started telling them about my ex and how I write poetry about him. Which I then read to them. They just gave me pity looks and left me to finish my spliff alone.
Thats not what we're looking for. I want this kid to suck a lolly pop out of a stripper's snatch.
My pubes were yanked out by the root when they got caught in the condom. I think it's time for a bikini wax.
tell me why they applauded then the bartender locked himself in the bathroom when i walked into the bar today ????
This Dog Travel Carrier is a Must
I asked the full emergency room who else was there because of homecoming and every single person raised their hand
I think this is the rare instance where the babysitter should get sex as payment from the person being babysat plus you'll get birthday sex. It's a win-win.
Whoever put salsa in the kiddie pool.....your an ass. Fuck you.
Well he's a 33 year old furniture salesman that picked up at 19 year old buying a bedroom set for her room. I can see how that would be awkward
Dislocated my knee during sex, popped it back in and kept going. Then got simpathy chipotle out of it too.
Other than unclothed paranormal encounters, how has your day been