i blew a .213 what kind of thug blows the compton area code exactly? this guy
New requirements. My future husband must have a nose ring and wear headbands.
We are no longer friends.
I ran a string through all of my old vicodin bottles and strung them on the tree. Tis the season.
And im sorry for wishing your girlfriend gets genital warts.
Here’s Everything Coming To Netflix This July
i'm already feeling the tequila hangover i'm going to have on friday
I look like a zombie and smell like a stripper. Its gonna be a good day.
yep you were here saturday. if you woke up smelling like vanilla i can explain.
Nothing says Merry Christmas like gifting a bottle of rum and finishing it yourself then leaning over at the dinner table to puke it back up.
I can get stoned and we can bake and then I can eat 70% of it and it will be awesome
19 Of The Creepiest (Most Inexplicable) Things People Experienced
Seriously. Are we going out tonight? If we're not, I'm going to put on sweatpants and do drugs.
who knew my inner goddess was such a whore
learned the hard way that breakfast jack daniels is a lot stronger than lunch or dinner jack daniels.
I should probably eat a Plan B. Pill for breakfast. Happy Halloween.
Have you ever looked at someone and thought…oh honey, you're too pretty for an ankle monitor
i’m blowing bubbles in my bloody mary so yeah it’s pretty much time to go