I bet he comes in French.
i woke up this morning in my bathroom,naked, with my boxers around my face and puke and shit on the floor and wondering why i didn't have a toenail on my one big toe.
compared to you, a hobo is quite responsible.
I'm constantly one strobe light away from an E flashback
My mom wanted me and my brother to have some bonding time before I left for school. Our bonding time consisted of us smokin a few bowls then goin to Red Robin to cure the munchies. Ooo how I love family time :)
We watched 'the mighty ducks' last night and took shots every time someone quacked. I woke up this morning wearing a nothing but a hockey jersey laying next to him on the floor. He was wearing a goalie mask. I really wish I knew what happened.
you went all the way to UK and still managed to hook up with someone from our highschool...
We were eating hotdog buns dipped in French onion dip in lawn chairs at 4am. That drunk
Bad news: I found out that girl you want has a boyfriend. Good news: she'll probably cheat on him with you. Better news: after seeing the way she treats him, that's the most interaction you're going to want with her anyway. Trust me.
Matt says that there are strip club auditions in our living room and he'd like you to audition.
I'm so confused as to where the sexual euphemisms end and the drinking starts
Homophobes nationwide are huddled in their bunkers tonight and I can't stop giggling. Could be the wine.
But I'm currently thinking of all my bad decision making last night and giving myself a time out.
Thought about it. I'm gonna go to work, but I'm gonna tell them I wrestled a bear saying I fell just isn't working.
We were both too drunk to drive home. So we did it in the coat closet and then I walked home. 20/20 hindsight: Could have both walked to my apartment and then had sex there.
Masterbating to Tolstoy. You?