Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(636): View more from Missouri

FYI, if you pee in my bed (or even let R___ and E___ sleep in it), I will fart loudly during your wedding vows. Trust.

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(636): FYI, if you pee in my bed (or even let R___ and E___ sleep in it), I will fart loudly during your wedding vows. Trust. http://tfl.nu/5llx

Replies (8) Good night (3929) Bad night (687)
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(973): View more from New Jersey

this guy jus got head in a gas station bathroom from this fat chick with one leg

(1-973): View more from New Jersey

gross dude. was the guy blacked out drunk or something?

(973): View more from New Jersey

yeah and it only cost me 6 dollars

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(973): this guy jus got head in a gas station bathroom from this fat chick with one leg (1-973): gross dude. was the guy blacked out drunk or something? (973): yeah and it only cost me 6 dollars http://tfl.nu/7tyz

Replies (18) Good night (1486) Bad night (5616)
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(732): View more from New Jersey

last night was fun... but i spent all morning tring to get the candle wax out of my chest hair. We did use candles last night?

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(732): last night was fun... but i spent all morning tring to get the candle wax out of my chest hair. We did use candles last night? http://tfl.nu/rkjl

Replies (9) Good night (3466) Bad night (807)
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(970): View more from Colorado

Dude, she knew her leg was on fire and she kept dancing. Bad-fucking-ass.

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(970): Dude, she knew her leg was on fire and she kept dancing. Bad-fucking-ass. http://tfl.nu/mex7

Replies (12) Good night (9596) Bad night (809)
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(716): View more from New York

I don't think the people up for their 8am class were as impressed with how many beads i got last night as we were.

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(716): I don't think the people up for their 8am class were as impressed with how many beads i got last night as we were. http://tfl.nu/cyr9

Replies (19) Good night (4751) Bad night (643)
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(606): View more from Kentucky

I thought short asians scared me, however seeing my first tall asian I'm terrified.

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(606): I thought short asians scared me, however seeing my first tall asian I'm terrified. http://tfl.nu/k6t4

Replies (15) Good night (5597) Bad night (1447)
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(781): View more from Massachusetts

No, seriously, 1.5 gallons of sangria plus two days of untapped cock. Waiting here. For you.

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(781): No, seriously, 1.5 gallons of sangria plus two days of untapped cock. Waiting here. For you. http://tfl.nu/cz2r

Replies (11) Good night (4433) Bad night (941)
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(914): View more from New York

Blood drive hookups: you will probably faint during the sex, but at least you know neither of you has AIDS

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(914): Blood drive hookups: you will probably faint during the sex, but at least you know neither of you has AIDS http://tfl.nu/w0yg

Replies (34) Good night (10745) Bad night (1279)
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(347): View more from New York

Oh and fyi, I've been drinking and about to do free weights. I'll late you know how this goes.

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(347): Oh and fyi, I've been drinking and about to do free weights. I'll late you know how this goes. http://tfl.nu/qm7s

Replies (12) Good night (2421) Bad night (1395)
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(202): View more from Washington, DC

My male hookup buddy is gonna meet my female hookup buddy, let the awkward hookup games begin!

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(202): My male hookup buddy is gonna meet my female hookup buddy, let the awkward hookup games begin! http://tfl.nu/ygvu

Replies (18) Good night (5519) Bad night (1095)
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(336): View more from North Carolina

Too many sundays start with me waking up still drunk in my car.

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(336): Too many sundays start with me waking up still drunk in my car. http://tfl.nu/8ezv

Replies (11) Good night (1870) Bad night (891)
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(253): View more from Washington

Uh oh. Middle aged belly dancers. And they just got out swords. Shit is about to get real.

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(253): Uh oh. Middle aged belly dancers. And they just got out swords. Shit is about to get real. http://tfl.nu/8edz

Replies (7) Good night (2471) Bad night (788)
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(445): View more from Pennsylvania

My brother just woke up to see me on te couch dipping hamburger buns into pizza sauce. I'm beginning to question the life choices that led to this moment.

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(445): My brother just woke up to see me on te couch dipping hamburger buns into pizza sauce. I'm beginning to question the life choices that led to this moment. http://tfl.nu/kvle

Replies (5) Good night (1466) Bad night (769)
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(707): View more from California

I didn't want to walk to anymore parties because I found a cat. It was magical.

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(707): I didn't want to walk to anymore parties because I found a cat. It was magical. http://tfl.nu/vu0p

Replies (2) Good night (878) Bad night (269)
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(207): View more from Maine

CALL 911 HAND IS STUCK IN THE GARBAGE DISPOSAL. HELP

(207): View more from Maine

Do we still have any pizza left from last night?

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(207): CALL 911 HAND IS STUCK IN THE GARBAGE DISPOSAL. HELP (207): Do we still have any pizza left from last night? http://tfl.nu/ytp9

Replies (10) Good night (592) Bad night (382)

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