i wouldn't be half as slutty if there were better things to do.
I want a meaningful relationship and i wont get one if i keep giving him blow jobs in my basement while watching family guy.
I'm the only adult here not drinking and their 2 year old daughter is trying to play dolls with me.. I've never been so demoralized in my life.
And I was the only one who felt it was dangerous to set the tv and blender on the ledge of the hot tub
THEY'RE. IN. YOUR. BED. THEY RANDOMLY SHOW UP. AND GET IN YOUR BED.
let's just say I never want to get pulled over and have to explain to the cop why I'm wearing a false beard again.
Remind me to switch to jello when you decide to do shots off my ass. It's so much easier to clean than this pudding.
I've already made the "blackout on move in day" decision
Don't know why you're always hating on relationships. I've had chocolate pancakes accompanied by a blowjob and a blunt and it's not even 9 am. Time for mid morning shower sex. Enjoy your morning bong bowl alone asshole
in honor of breaking bad starting soon, i am now banging a walter white lookalike. viva heisenberg!
Also bring a pizza or no entry to my vagina OR the fort.
Cheese only
Can we make 2014 the year of no unsolicited dick pics?
Lol, maybe a little bit. I don't know. I don't keep a super keen memory log of dicks honestly.
How did I end up with the cock ring?!
She yelled Carpe Diem when she orgasmed. Is it too early to marry her?
Randomize
