Yeah unless I can find some idiot to make love to
My mom foundout about my dui nd just called me to come home. I just took acid like 30 min ago. Wht should i do?
The good thing about walking home in a dress on sunday morning is that people mistake my walk of shame as a walk to God.
Why does every girl think its ok to cheat on their boyfriends with me?
I never thought I would say the free bottle of grey goose was the problem but it was
Yea my vagina was pretty pissed at me for not taking advantage of the situation...
He said his penis was a 1 woman penis with a conscience an I was that woman...technically a declaration of commitment rite?
He texted me saying that his mom found my nuva ring in their jacuzzi filter. I don't think I'm welcome back anytime soon.
I'm on my fifth cocktail in twenty minutes. I don't think I will end this on two legs.
Woke up this morning with my period. Saw a commercial for the beginning of Shark Week. I see what you did there, Mother Nature. My pad's off to you.
Things are very odd on my 29th hour of being awake. Thought there was a bird in my lecture hall and it was just a girl putting up her hair. What even
The only time we had a decent conversation was when he was on acid, and, like, that's not a great start to a relationship.
I mean, I let him sleep with me after we both ate taco bell sober... That's kinda like love, right?
You yelled "Shame!" like you were that bitch from Game of Thrones and then hit my balls full force with your sports bra
This whole thing is fucking bullshit. I should be wasting all my hard-earned money at Planet Con this weekend but NOOOOOOOOO. Now I'll never get Roy Thomas to sign my comic
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