She told me I was starting to look like a mermaid with herpes and I needed to stop it.
this girl with a french braid down the center of her head won't stop talking about the benefits of the free market. i'm hungover, bloated and haven't slept for 4 days. shut up french braid girl, shut up.
when i woke up this morning i blew my nose and ash came out.. i'm not sure what to make of this.
No, i know about the eggs and penis, the oh wow was for the fire
He drew a face on his balls with a sharpie. It was like giving head to a unicorn.
Well it involved jumping two nine foot fences. But when you mix alcohol and persistence you can't lose.
OH. MY. GOD. FUCK HIM. JUST GRAB HIM AND FUCK HIM.
I need to hump something and I know u understand.
My bathroom smells like artichokes and absinthe. I am naming a perfume after you and using the money to buy new towels.
Also, the greatest of ironies: I got shampoo confiscated by security while Corey managed to get pot through. MERICA!
I'm somewhere between crying and wanting to orgasm.
I just got CPR certified, don't make me need these skills so soon
summer in europe = liver of steel
I accept that challenge.
No, not if I told them not to. they listen to me. I have a vagina.
She was cleaning herself at the bus stop. She also picked up gum off the ground and ate it
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