the only thing i knew about you is that u dated jordan and were potentially interested in a threesome
I haven't seen Daniella all day...are you sure she was safe going home with that guy?
oh don't worry! i asked him if he was a rapist. he said no
You screamed, "I am going to fuck this cheeseburger". They all started laughing until you actually started having sex with the cheeseburger.
Dude ur right that IS what a vagina looks like!
Do everybody a favor and GET LAID MORE.
doing washington apple shots with my mom. sunday afternoons suddenly got so much better.
just puked in a purse in the store. some girl asked if i was gonna buy it now and i laughed and asked her why id want a bag some dude just puked in. her face looked like she saw the devil.
He's been dancing to the same Rob Thomas album in his room for almost 8 hours now. Please never, ever bring extacy over here again.
apparently drunk me likes to play hide the puke.. was not a fun time washing all my legos.
Well I'm 85-90% sure that he licked syrup off my body, but no guarantees...
Idk. Im in a bed. the walls are wood. There's a deer mount.. im afraid to turn over and see who's next to me but he's violently cuddly.
Super awkward that I just now realized I added no verb to the first statement about super hero porn. We were watching it, not making it. Clarity.
I'm high and reading a Wikipedia article on circumcision procedure. Help.
He said you asked to eat pepperoni off his dick and he thought it was weird
I mean I thought it sounded fun
Come over. We have half a bottle of jumbo champagne left and no boyfriends to slow us down
You just sent me an audio message of you peeing. That’s true love right there.
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