You litterally reached into some girls shirt, pulled out her tit and yelled whats up with this guy.
So in our children's lit class, some jackass little boy had gone thru the where's waldo book and circled waldo. I realize you would have been that kid.
My mom just called and reminded me not to throw up in any cabs tonight. Happy St. Patty's Day.
I got a bikini wax for the first time today and I think I now understand feminism.
Our local strip club now has karaoke. Do you realize what this could mean for my sex life?
I keep having to talk dad out of putting tequila in the milkshakes.
Haga you didnt jbsii whee wu an therer
Party on wayne
True life. I have to get a nose job due to a deviated septum from blowing coke. Thank you college.
There is nothing quite so awkward as watching topless bullriding with your mother next to you..
Best thing I ever did was get a dog. She's like a living trip alarm to warn me of visitors while I'm masturbating.
Let he who has not made drunken spaghetti at 3 a.m. cast the first stone.
These morning walks of shame have became my morning jogs
He woke up wondering who broke in and rearranged all the furniture. He reviewed 11 hours of security footage before I told him he did it while whiskey-drunk.
Is it sad the checkout lady had to inform my mom she can't buy alcohol before 8am?
Also I found $40 in the women's bathroom at ihop. Karma is finally kicking in!
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