I drank too much. My snot smells like vodka when I blow my nose.
it felt great physically, but AWFUL morally.
I saw his package. It spoke to me.
I just got a new temperpedic mattress pad and started smoking weed again in the same week. finding motivation to go to a 9:AM class is close to impossible.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The great thing about vietnam is that if I'm drunk during the day people just think I'm being white
Once two people had broken bones it had become a bulk hospital trip so we took the party bus
Your friend, the one I told I would brush his teeth with my tongue, what's his name again?
Yep I can make a seagull sound. It's identical. I tried it. They thought I was talking to them. It's pretty cool.
I'm buying groceries with adderoll. I hope I'm never this broke again.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So you're saying you don't want to be with her anymore because she likes sex to much and is just to hot?
Well when you say it that way it makes me sound like an idiot.
You are an idiot.
Also you know what's irritating? When the guy you're sleeping with refuses to like any of your Instagram posts
i think im in europe. pls send help
he drank half a bottle of bushmills, stood up to pee over the side, pissed his pants, sat in the puddle on the deck, told me my life goals were stupid and impossible, and wouldn't leave until 5am. by the time I got up at 8 I had 4 texts and 2 fb messages from him. AND HE STILL THINKS IT WENT WELL
what a classic moment of my life. A buffet of taco bell and a taser gun.
Throwing up in a storm drain... Not my finest moment.
But my shoes looked boss
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