How fat would you say she has to be before I can consider this a threesome
i told him i was on my period. he said, and i quote "can we not just lay down some newspapers or something?"
You decided to make a porno with gummy bears and things went downhill from there.
we took turns throwing up in the kitchen sink last night...no i am not doing the dishes
Literally passed out while tubing... Boating while hammered is a blast but thank God for life jackets
WHY DO I WANT TO FUCK EVERY GUY THAT BREATHES
she shotgunned a can of v8, threw the can on the ground and said, "fuck bitches get money" then passed out on the spot
Drinking vodka and pirating music in the library. Welcome to finals week.
7:26 bus just came. I am sweatier than Louie Anderson eating chili in a sauna
But I've also made plans to crash a black tie event wearing a storm trooper helmet. I think I've found the love of my life..
I just spent 3 hours in the back of an unmarked police cruiser. Best. Date. Ever.
Holy shit last night was like the irresponsible Olympics for me
Going on a coke binge the night before your appointment with your therapist (to talk about your sex addiction) is prob not the best idea.
the fact that your 21st birthday is also new years eve is pretty much a death sentence
I SHOULD BE TERRIFIED OF HIS DRAGON DICK.
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