I wish Morgan Freeman narrated my life.
Laziness has reached now heights if you too unmotivated to buy pot
u sent me just one boob. one just doesnt do it for me. u dont get full on a half a rack of ribs u need a full one
She said she didn't want to have sex because she was so torn up about "this whole NBC thing."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just remembered yelling "they're gonna let me be a lawyer! Me! Why would they do that?"
I was under the impression that I sent actual words. turns out it was a series of letters and question marks on a side note we still had sex
Dude, double fisting packs of Ramen saved my life last night
I am not betting on the failure of any friend that is not you.
It's gonna be ok. As we grow older we sometimes lose sight of what's important to us. Like safe sex. And standards.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is it possible to sluttify a hobbit costume? Cause if so, this will be my biggest accomplishment.
Holy shit, add "successfully got stoned secretly at a party where a cop was" to my list of accomplishments.
I'm gonna have to kick a girl scouts ass...
I think getting right with the Lord should involve more than me and a bottle of tequila.
Aka I'm headed to the liquor store because I don't know how to handle my emotions.
Just called to hear your voice and talk about pizza.
Randomize