Cool, I just put that together. I didn't know if using a tie-died sub machinegun was too crazy
I want to give you a handjob with my mouth.
He told me he had never done that before...I responded with "clearly"
So we were banging and she started puking all over my bed. I'm not sure what's worse, her puking, or that I felt the urge to start singing Flip-adelphia.
We folded our dollar bills into airplanes. This really makes the strippers work for it. Like air miles.
They had a "who can aim further away from the toilet" contest. I'm now washing piss off my ceiling.
What color suit is the proper "i banged the bride" attire?
i ended up playing naked naked monopoly and hangman with my dealer. i really love my life.
I took a hang over nap infront of the door to my 9am class
best eviction party ever.
it wasn't an eviction party you asshole, you just happened to get yourself evicted during the party.
We tried to do sophisticated last night, but our low class kept shining through.
I was alternating between saying "yall need Jesus" and "God bless" the entire night
I mean you can one up her. Instead of ruining friendships you can ruin marriages.
I crawled to the bathroom this morning there were cornpops scattered on the floor? What was I doing last night?
Why were u walkin around mc with a toilet bowl lid handcuffed to u and carrying a stuffed Teddy bear last night?
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