God I can't wait to have my phone textbombed every night
I love you
are you drunk
yes but I def love you, we should get married
But I'm Jewish
embrace Jesus
we're drinking boxed wine and eating string cheese. It's like a wine tasting for poor people.
Can I get a DUI with a shopping cart? I've nearly hit 2 displays and little girl...
He sent a pic, I sent one back. Then nothing. It's like we sext-messaged goodbye and ended the relationship.
Sex in the corn maze.....not as good as advertised.
At the same time that I bought plan b I got some Girl Scout cookies too. It's not a total loss for you.
Im in my back seat in my own drive way with two beers left to shotgun and watching the sunrise. Am I over her yet?
Yeah, nothing like barfing into a grocery bag you just put dog shit into.
hell no. i was not wasting my two tears of virginity on him.
Would it kill us to punctuate. That last text took me 5 min to read
Is it bad I use my AA meeting to hookup with guys?
You know I base where I go on the likelihood of me getting laid there. This includes work.
He also sent me nipple clamps because romance is NOT dead
3 weeks in a row I've pulled '69' at the deli counter...God is giving me shit for not getting laid in a year....
Randomize
