areee we human. . .oorrr areee we dancerssssss?!
you srsly need to quit going to that bar
I'm not saying he has herpes, I'm just saying he slept with my friend that has herpes.
if we dont hook up this weekend, im doing both his roommates
he was alternating between taking bites of butter and bagel. he said it was easier than finding a knife
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Def regretting not writing "will blow for extra credit" on my last final
Mym mom just came downstairs as I got ghome ans I'm trying to act SO CASUAL as i stabdh here hut icant help bur be like 'girl where's ther Turkey sandwiche s' haahaa
I literally need you to talke care of me soooo9o9oooooo drubj gril makin a sabdwiche. SO far its judst bred and paper towel...
Did i tell you my idea for my life plan? Not the one that involves stripping.
THESE BITCHES NOT IN MY MAJOR BETTER NOT FILL UP MY SLAVIC FAIRYTALES CLASS
HEY. That drawer full of booze in my dorm room also has aspirin and Tums in it. So don't tell me I don't care about health.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I swear to god, my hangover cure is a green tea and a 15 minute twerkout. works every time
Oh my lord it is too early in the morning to be that horny freak
my vagina doesn't wear a watch
Well you busted in the house and yelled with pride about Uber giving you a ride over with your new bong.
the texts you sent will act as the rosetta stone for all drunk people
I forget how to act sober
Nothing ruins your day more than waking up to you dogs crotch in your face
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