3 different guys in my psych class know me as 3 different names and said hi to me with all 3 different names-Andrea, Grace, and Bella
I've never been more proud of you
The only person who has seen my penis more than that girl, is that girl's sister.
Had a couple pieces of pizza for breakfast...suck on that Jamie Oliver.
Just had to explain to a senior manager why I had duct tape residue on my wrist and hand. This weekend was a success.
Oh shit. The kids are pole dancing on a broom. It's like I'm seeing my future offspring before my eyes.
It involved homemade coconut rum, a waterfall, and street signs. I'll leave the rest to your capable imagination.
You know, I never expected to find myself with a roommate who I'd have to ask not to have sex while I'm in the room. And yet, here we are.
There are now half chewed girl scout cookies plastered to my windshield. Do you know anything about this?
I woke up to him peeling the skin on my stomach from my sunburn. If he wasn't so good in bed I'd be a little freaked out.
she never specifically said NOT to fuck her boyfriend so technically we can still be best friends
Vegas is great, yelled at a guy 4 lanes over if he wanted a bj. ended up having sex in a vacant lot. I think he was homeless.
I mentioned your name at this party and some girl started crying.
Well at least I will forever be known as the girl he ate out on the lifeguard stand while people walked by. On the first date.
I tried to bring you in when you passed out on the porch but all you said was that I "ruined your hope ands dreams of becoming an astronaut"
The thing about online classes is the prof can't tell this mug is full of beer.
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