You know you have a problem when you walk into your bathroom find kettle one in your shower and a note you wrote yourself when drunk that says "panties at jared leto's" on your counter
do you think they make care bear costumes for cats?
i just realized that fran drescher is the 90's version of a guidette.
I think I'd do Clint Eastwood.
...kinda gettin a major gay vibe from you right now.
That was a text you sent me last night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Im still in bed and cant move and i only had Two beers and a shot last night... how did I make it in college?
God gave us a 4 year grace period.
chlamydia ends and my period begins. this isnt real life
Was that picture taken before or after I supposedly punched him in the face?
yeah, i found the sharpie that everyone use to sign my tits last night. its dead.
I had to put a towel over my laptop because the little power light was too bright. New hangover low.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I would feel bad that's he's locked out naked, but the world should really see that.
Why don't you throw your vagina at it and see what happens?
Had sex with the Irish bartender in Spain. So that happened.
I feel like a pile of chihuahua shit that got eaten by a Great Dane who puked it up and then set it on fire.
I've got to stop fucking tourists. If Chicagos piazza is anything like their dicks. I'm moving.
I had a dream that you were telling me how good you are at parkour and legit you were doing it just like Michael Scott...
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