Proposition. Sex. No words, no talking about it later. I just want you tonight.
The new Black Eyed Peas song is the stupidest shit I've heard since the last Black Eyed Peas song.
my phone vibrated itself into my puke bucket and literally sizzled. you'll have to reach me at this number for a while.
i think i got so emotional from a mix of getting my period and slapping the bag like five times
how many americans can say they have been laid before eating their first big mac?
I just saw a dude sitting IN a bush, weeping and playing a harmonica. I hope your day is going better than his.
I dont have any paper so I'm writing class notes on my first response direction pregnancy paper. Judging eyes are all around.
Annnnddddd this chick is using a hand puppet made of a sock to give her research presentation...
I literally walked into the toilet, looked at my reflection, said "alcohol" and went back to bed...
party tonight. bring as many traffic cones as you can find. we need to section off the blackout drunks way better this time
So i came so hard i almost passed out, where has this vibrator been all my life?
You need to be on (or possibly create) the international emoji committee to address all of these glaring oversights
I want your cock. I also want to cuddle you and tell you how amazing you are, because you know balance.
I woke up in a bathtub full of green and blue Nickelodeon slime! wtf?!
You fucked him, didn’t you?
He showed up at my house with tacos, rum and a negative Covid test. Of course I fucked him. I’m just a simple girl that likes tacos, not Margaret Thatcher!
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