Just made out with a pet sitter. His biz card says "even hamsters". Lowest point in my life.
we made out on top of his cat.
he borrowed my computer and saw his name in my recent google searches. Things got awkward real fast.
Why did you video tape me drying my boxers in the microwave?
someone just broke into my class and invited everyone to the bar ...now we're filling out a police report. awesome.
It was honestly like finding a clitoris in a haystack.
SEE! I KNEW I HAD A LONG-TERM REASON FOR BEING A SLUT!
You know, I never expected to find myself with a roommate who I'd have to ask not to have sex while I'm in the room. And yet, here we are.
So we get back to the hotel room and Tom strips off his clothes... His first sexual act as my fiance? Helicopter dick. I gave him a high five.
You gave me your shirt to use as a napkin every time I spilled beer on myself. Before we went to the bar.
Bryan's allergic to that cheap detergent, so he's been naked for three days. But we're all used to it now, so the party is still on.
think I signed up for a 5k last night while blackout.
Had sex with one of the guys from Ireland. Celebrating st pattys early.
I think my nap took me to another dimension
I was really excited when I saw a billboard for neverbethirsty.org this morning. Then I realized it was for a church.
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