I fell asleep next to my cousin and woke up with my hand in her pants because i though it was lisa
Whoa. I woke up to 10 new text messages. All about bacon.
splinters make it hard to masturbate
Pretty much knew it was gonna be awful when the extra condoms she had from her ex were entirely too big for my dick
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I threw a jar of pickles out the window at a police car, why was that not a good enough reason to put me to bed?
So if we break up over this are you still gonna come over and do my dishes?
Bad news. Pictures just stimulated my memory and i just realized the stripper I hooked up with this weekend tasted like pizza.
She passed out in his mom's bed and when we went to go get her she went 'no its cool I live here'.
He just subscribed to one of my Spotify playlists. The next step is sex.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ok everyone, the frat server is slow because of the 11 TB of porn on there. Either clean out your partition by Sunday or it will be erased. Thanks for your help.
TONGUES ARE JUST MEAT TENTACLES IN OUR MOUTHS OMG
HOW ABOUT I DON'T WAKE UP TO THESE TYPES OF TEXTS
In your drunken glory you promised me, tongue, 12 naked pics, and 1,800 breakfasts.
Dude I puked in a snow bank and then fell face first into it
Business idea: assless chaps for toddlers. I'm high.
He gave his liver a pep talk before the vodka chugging started
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