Is this a definitive no? All is forlorn? Such is fine, but i'm drunk and a sucker for concrete answers
Holy shit I just stopped short on route 18 because I thought my gps was saying I had to turn right in 11 feet. After almost hitting the guardrail I realized I had to turn in 11 miles.
Fuck I'm high.
My mom found a condom in my purse
Correction: my mom found a used condom in my purse.
People with herpes should wear stickers.
I wish you had a penis so you could experience peeing out the window in front of a crowd of people leaving parties.
Its become more of a routine.. Whenever I get done eating and have left overs I just take it over to his house and throw it all over the walls and windows. Pay backs a bitch ehhhh
Imagine if you could have something so delicious, like your taste buds went on LSD while eating a chocolate tiramisu. That's the opposite of what cum tastes like.
You had your dick do your apologizing for you last night. Apology accepted.
You should probably stop your little brother from ruining thanksgiving. I just caught him trying to stuff a cake in a drawer... And now he's puking.
I ate vegetarian today, so I deserve a beer.That's my justification.
It's like you're the voice of my soul.
Don't send me nudes asking me to come fuck you on lunch break then send me a video of kids you're babysitting.
Omg my butt feels so much better. Those suppositories are magic. It feels like Jesus fingered me in my sleep.
Life achievement unlocked: I just ate a Slim Jim "Lady and the Tramp" style with a guy in a bar.
I never thought I could be this turned on by a man wearing racoon tails.
He ate me out while I stood on his bed drinking a Rainier.
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