I'll write directions out on a napkin and slip it to him. Then say P.S. The UTI is gone.... that's not creepy at all right?
were talking about masturbation in my pysc class. He says it's healthy. I'm gonna live forever
I don't even know why I got my vag waxed
Ugh, tell me about it. As each day passes and the hair grows more, I get a little more depressed.
so i gave him head in the movie theater last night. thought we were alone til I heard the clapping from the other side of the theater after he'd finished.
Its that time of week again, Bad life decision wednesday
You texted me "Americans are sad" and "chicken coop disaster" without any further explanation.
I'm supposed to be studying for finals but all I can think about is blowing him on a sea doo this summer
I think I freaked him out last night. We got back to my place and I made chicken nuggets, chicken Alfredo, and half of one of those huge oreida hashbrown bags. And then ate all of it
i refuse to give everyone the satisfaction of seeing the results of my acting on my thoughts
I know I'm going to throw up tonight it's just a matter of when and where
I asked my boyfriend if he wanted a bong for his birthday but he instead asked for corndogs
the cheaper the better
Yeah I don't think your wife thinks it's a good thing that you're fucking your cousin.
Gary just stuck his dick in his Guinness. I can't even make this up
My mom just said "okay girls, the ONLY thing i ask is that you stay sober Saturday afternoon, until halfway through lunch. And you don't wear that crystal camo hat. This is a funeral, not a tailgate party"
Best wishes.
Wow you are like a taller more attractive sex Yoda.
Randomize
