No, I'm talking to this Chinese girl. Can't understand a word she's saying, but i think i caught the word vagina a few times.
That Joe Wilson reference just earned you a blow job, Mister!
She just said she finds Tyler Perry funny... this is not going to work.
I just woke up to me licking the dognuts
You mean Doughnuts?
......No :(
Operation Purity has been aborted
Asking the cop for directions wearing a lion mask may not have been my best moment...
Yes theres a double standard. Get over it. Fuck the critics and go be the slut you were born to be
That's cause you yelled across the parking lot you wanted to eat her out
Dude, fuck the siberian warm up. You can't put vodka in hot chocolate. Learn from my mistakes
I was drunk petting a fox and taking shots of Jager. That's about as outdoorsy as it gets.
Today I found out that my boss keeps a breathalyzer on his desk for just these sort of shenanigans
I just masterbated to the Lets Get Ready To Rumble theme
Will you remind me I changed my hotspot phone password to fuckyouprivilegedwhitedude
I JUST FARTED SO LOUD AND HARD I IMMEDIATELY TASTED IT
In case you were wondering I realized something last night, Rick James was correct. Cocaine is a hell of a drug.
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