I love you!
You're insane
Fuckin crazy man! Seriously though I think if you would have me I honestly seriously think about marrying u!
Alright now lets video chat so I can xshow u my dick! Hahahaha
I was being carried out of the bar, but then my friend saw Pat who just got kicked out scaling the wall to sneak back in, so he carried me back in, sat me on the bar stool, and the bartender just let us all keep drinking.
Being persistent has its perks my friend.
how am i supposed to spank it to a shakira video when she looks like she is doing the robot?
The streak lives on, still havent been to Towson without throwing up
Do you have any idea how hard it is to cum to Chingy?!
Can you tell me how this chicken finger got in my pillow case?
I think now I understand why people say my penis is pretty.
I keep thinking your bag of thongs is a bag of chips. So mad I can't eat them.
Yeah I remember doing the worm in my moms room. While she's yelling at me and I'm making seagull nooises
Goddamnit Shari. He's not called Pencil Dick because he's good a sketching...
So you'd go straight for a fat chick with cheese on her tits?
Yes.
Goddamn right, I may not survive the apocalypse, but my eyebrows fucking will.
You have cats and a ten year IUD. Embrace it.
Apparently I've texted the word shitfucked so much it auto-completes it now.
Some guy is here to get laser hair removal on his balls. I hate my job.
Randomize
