i should go to a nude beach and wear just a condom, then ill have tan lines on my dick
Fantastic night. drank beer from a wine bottle, danced on a van, chased a llama, and fell from a fence
It was like his mom forgot to breastfeed him and he was making up for lost time.
Don't really want to talk about it. You were right. She had a whole jar of toenail clippings on her nightstand that she chews on "when her fingernails are too short." Direct quote.
I think god was stupid personally. The clit should be inside the vagina. Idiot.
I had to go to the bank to confirm purchases made on 10/31/09 because they were signed as Lady Gaga
i'm waiting for the less fat version of him to text me
coming out of a blackout being surrounded by Disney police was not as awesome as it sounds.
I will also be strapping forties to the puppies.
Would it be tacky of me to tell the two girls I just found out he's been sleeping with on the side that I've been having gay sex with him all semester?
YOU CAN'T BASE A RELATIONSHIP OFF A PENIS
I LIKE HIS TONGUE TOO.
Don't. You get on the 18 year old. I'll get on the 38 year old. Together we will bridge 2 decades of cock.
He started screaming "fuck me I'm Ryan Gosling" and proceeded to pick up the smallest guy at the party and carry him to bed.
I'm ordering a French maid costume for my dog too. It's like a couples costume, except for losers with dogs.
100000% expect a picture of my ass in them
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