he thinks he's going to hurt your feelings
He can't hurt my feelings
I don't have feelings.
allegedly i woke up at 5am sat in the dishwasher and peed
she kept yelling 'call me bella'
i jus got home and totaly forgot i had nut all over the back of my shirt
..im mad u rememberd about that
why the fuck are my pubes caked with bread crumbs?
were you high?
When?
Actually just blanket yes to that question
It's been two days. I am still burping up jello. Everything tastes like jello. Everything smells like jello. I am DONE with jello shots.
You said you wanted to wrap his dick in a tortilla and make a spicy burrito. Let me just say, most girls don't have this hard of a time getting laid.
Girl behind me in line at cvs was getting impatient then outta nowhere blew up shouting that if she didn't get her plan b soon she might be a mom abd that if we couldn't tell she'd be a terrible mom
I just finished a four mile round trip walk to CVS to buy shaving cream and lube. You're welcome.
In my top drawer right now, there are see's chocolates, condoms, weed, and my vibrator. One way or another, this is going to be a good night
He saved that picture of my boobs for good luck romance still exists
Hey, before I head out, whats your policy on casual drug use and one night stands?
You're having marijuana delivered to you. You're buying drugs and you aren't even leaving the house. I'm sure he'll be surprised if you're NOT wearing a bathrobe.
Just saw 4 of my students at Denny's at 4am on a Tuesday. We all pretended not to see each other, as we are all clearly tipsy and/or stoned. Class is in less than 4 hours. Either i'm getting too old for this shit or they're starting on the road to crazy-town much earlier these days.
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