Well we can cross off dogs, dating sites, and real life as ways to help you meet a chick.
I think I deserve the nobel peace prize for discovering that one should smoke before drinking instead of drinking before smoking.
maybe i'll see you again later :)
I'd rather shit a knife.
Thank God for cruise control and the Starbucks cup I had to puke in.
Yes, that was me on the jumbo tron. No, i don't know why i was hiding.
and my souvenir for the night was a nice ambulance blanket
Definately laid on the floor of the shower this morning drinking the water as it fell on me.
I feel like this is going to result in some sort of tearing in my vagina.
Thats a chance were just gonna have to take
I asked you if you needed a ride and you kept saying "no, my name is katelyn"
I drunkenly called my ex on Skype last night and didn't talk, just smiled real big at him until I fell asleep.
that man is just a bundle of powerful magic and poor judgment
I took the pregnancy test for shits and giggles, but neither shits nor giggles were had.
There's no sexy way to moan the name Ernest. Or Ernie. This relationship is fucked
Totally just got spotted hitting the bowl by someone else hitting a bowl. We gave each other a head nod
Yeah I knew you'd like him. He's emotionally and physically self destructive.
We would have so much to talk about!
Randomize
