went to sleep on the couch in jeans and socks. woke up in bed totally nude no memory of moving. best farewell party ever
Lady came into work yesterday. Full on stache and beard. I've never concentrated on making eye contact harder in my life.
his internet history is a lot of porn, how to make a hovercraft and side-effects of jacking off too much
Today has been the most awkward masturbatory day of my life. Possibly even more awkward than when my mom found my vibrator on Mother's Day.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Alright dude i'm gonna go to go sleep off this soberness. my life is a cosmic joke
Thanks for letting me rent out your vagina rec room. I don't expect the security deposit back.
Any day that has a special name thats capitalized means you need to need to call in sick and get day drunk. That's why they are there.
I am coping with the snow storm with beer and shots of jack. If I were outside in shorts I might be able to pass as a Canadian.
Made a pinky promise to a lesbian on crack in WeHo. No one knows what I promised
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'll have sex with you for tacos. I don't care, man.
So high, just applauded for a magic trick on Hulu.
We almost drove away from the bar with a British stranger in our trunk...
I really wanna treat my body good. Because i plan on doing drugs
He stopped mid sex to say he was sorry that he couldn't make us work.continued. Stopped again to ask if it was crazy that he loved me.
That is not what no strings attached sex is about.
Just sent a nude with the caption "seasons greetings from our family to yours"
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