They should make a Rosetta Stone that allows men to understand what the fuck women are actually trying to say.
because you can't take the autistic girl you're babysitting on a blunt ride.
I'll give her a pass for the first one, but after the second threesome, she should have learned her lesson.
I try to help out whenever I can. Speaking of rough nights I woke up half naked on Brady's couch with bloody paper towels duct taped to my foot.
I told him I had to grab my Swedish fish from the car before they froze. Then I just left. But the fact that he knew how important it was not to have my fish freeze almost made me come back in....almost.
Well you just missed the ten chi o pledges singing la bamba at our doorstep.
Operation: sleep in every bed at the boys' house is nearing completion. Now at 5/9. I AM GOLDILOCKS AND NO ONE CAN STOP ME
It's that time of the week again where I begin to ponder life's great questions like, "What will my pathetic excuse for a future look like?" and "Why tacos?"
It feels like my uterus is trying to crawl out of my ass wearing cleats. And yourself?
My drug dealer just asked me to go see Les Mis on Christmas. Should I be worried this is some type of musical set-up?
Due to last night I think a roommate constitution should be made. The first law will be designed to prevent any chicks below a 4 to enter the house.
One of my students submitted a thesis proposal to find the exact correlation between desire for sexual intercourse and vaginal heat.
Tell me you accepted it! This is critical fucking research!
I just met a stripper in the light of day who I ate a candy bikini off her body. This is how my weekend is going.
I've given up on the male species, I'm just going to be a lonely whore for the rest of my life.
He bent me in ways I couldn't imagine.. and im a gymnast.
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