I literally ate my thanksgiving dinner while getting a lapdance. And honestly, after that, there is no other way.
I thought we agreed I wasn't a screamer?
I could swear I did coke with Jesus last night
I told him I'd rather have sex with his father last night. I'll admit now that I was drunk.
Upperdeckered the toilet. Took sombrero off, drawing too much heat. Witnessed glassing. In bush, come findme.
Is it wrong in Austin to talk to the homeless while I feed a bird my chips??
I NEED ANOTHER LEVEL OF CAPS TO EXPRESS TO YOU THE MAGNITUDE OF MY FADDEDNESS
We had sex during an intermission, then the second period. The bruins better win. Missing a period isn't worth having sex with him
You wanted to go find him and we told you to sit down cause you kept stumbling. You yelled " I CAN STAND!! It's the walking part I can't figure out!"
So... In conclusion, do I bring my vibrator and risk not only having it getting taken out at security, but also exposing my dad to my neon green vibrator, or just leave it here?
Your shirt... Was in my pants
Last night was a whirlwind of vodka - induced emotion
We had a quickie at work in the office. He walked out before me, and I fell asleep while waiting a few minutes to walk out. Yeah. He's got that change your life dick
He's just been a dick since he set his face on fire. I just wanted to eat a fucking hot dog.
shots, cocks, socks. bingo
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