Where is the hickey?
i met a boy and i'm in lovvvvveeeeeeee and we're going to vegas and getting marrrrrriiiieeeeedddddd!
let's be honest with each other here, that's about the worst idea you've ever had. you need to walk this one off.
I just watched a trucker jack off to a picture of Ellen DeGeneres at a truck stop in Nebraska.
The baby slept soo good last night. Its like he knows the importance of me being intoxicated all weekend.
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We have a drunken confused pantless man in our apt. Boots.
i woke up and the dog was eating spaghetti off my chest.
You guys crashed sarahs vespa into a snowbank and its still there. not cool.
Our halfway to Halloween party needs to never happen again. There were waaayy too many wasted cartoon characters passed out in my living room this morning...
She just landed. Popped over for a BJ and left. I'm a fan of layover layovers.
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But you're the one who should be jamming foreign objects into my vaj instead of an old weird lady. I mean, it is your birthday....
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
I woke up naked to an alarm set for 11:18 pm and missing a shoe. How was your night?
He had a drawn-on fu manchu and now my vagina has one too.
the kid next to me in math class is drawing gay porn. it's good, but that is beside the point
I know! It's like he knows when my vagina wants to misbehave!
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