dude! the alphabet song and twinkle twinkle little star are like the same tune
what drug did you take to come to that conclusion??
FYI: Do not ever call any girl a thundercunt as a form of dirty talk.
He just told me he's been drinking vodka at work all day. I'm starting to believe in soul mates.
I sleep with the gay men, they no longer have questions about their sexuality. No strings attached at it's finest and i get new shopping buddies out if it. It really is a win win situation.
You are my idol.
Is it too much to ask that I wake up one morning with out a pic of your dick as my wallpaper??
Remember those girls from the bar? The tall and short blondes?
Is this a story I am going to hate you for?
Just played slippy cup. Flip cup plus slip n slide. What did you do with your fourth of july?
my spring break was before theirs and i literally fed him vodka all week, only stopping for class and bowls. like handles. i cant even think anymore, that chastity belt was hard to get off,
How did work go after you told them you were in jail?
Great they tried to bail me out.
I am literally drinking 7 day old water and looking for snacks in my room so I won't have to go in the hall and see roommate, because we accidentally banged last night. Please bring over some chicken and plan b.
Dude. That Grinch had his priorities right when he was worried that there might be a cash bar at that town celebration.
So that advice that humming stops you from puking? Yeah no, just puked through my nose.
My vagina doesn't have a refer a friend program. You don't get $25 for getting your friend to have sex with me.
Things he has managed to cum on so far on spring break: my bikini, my back-up bikini, three of my four bras, two pairs of panties, four beds, six chairs, the floor of several hotel rooms, the window/door to the balcony from both sides, my tits, my face, my stomach, his stomach, my ass, his best friend's girlfriend's face, and his best friend's dick.
Just FYI spring break is over and you're supposed to be back in class but hey sounds like you had your orgy so congrats.
You just kept yelling GET YOUR SKATES ON, BITCHES. WE'RE GOING STREAKING.
Randomize
