Oh and then this old man who saw it happen goes "don't do that"
Hahaha what a helpful old man. Like you thought it was normal to be spilling gas everywhere.
I just jerked off and used a stopwatch to track my results. Pretty depressing on multiple fronts.
well if I unknowingly shoved my hand up someones ass, I'm glad it was yours
andd if someone unknowingly shoved their hand up my ass without me knowing, im glad it was you
Dreamed I made out with a stranger after falling out of a car, let's make this happen tonight.
siamese drinking twins saturday is a go ... bring duct tape.
Apparently stumbling across interstate bridges is not cause for concern but screaming Wookie noises at cars is. Thanks, cops.
Why did I wake up with condoms on all my fingers?
Considering the girl you hooked up with, I'd be concerned about not having one on your penis.
smoked four grams out of a bong with a mixture of pool water and white rum. I applaud you for leaving before losing too many brain cells.
Made up a full house drinking game
On my way.
So we are in the middle of sex and his brother knocks on the door and says "dude I just wanted to know if you want to see the fish I got tonight"
Finally finished unpacking shit from school n found a bra with no idea whose it is... I miss college so much it hurts sometimes
I just talked with someone about real estate trends in Atlanta then got three blowjobs in a row. Boom.
I'm assuming you were here at some stage because I woke up alone, clean and in a towel with mum asking my why my shoes, dress and jewellery were in the bottom of the shower.
And here I am, playing fetch with my cat at two in the morning.
you know you're sexually deprived when you're holding a warm taquito in your hand and your vagina starts to tingle
Randomize
