remember when you found twisted pleasure condoms in my parents bathroom? theyre gone.
If I sit on the seam of my jeans just the right way when the bass hits, this might be my new favorite band.
I am officially superior to you. I said "Go Go Gadget Dick" before I fucked her. I dare you to beat that.
I wasn't excited about it either, but if I was going to have her take a load on her face, role playing as some french dude is the least I could do
next time the cops show up in riot gear we should probably leave
and miss being on the news....no way
my parents are out trying to convince the local liquor stores to post "do not sell our daughter alcohol" flyers. i'm preping my defense now.
He managed to get his pants on, so the cop just sat there facing us with his lights shining in the car. I made shadow puppets.
As if right now I am a humanitarian. Full story to come in the morning. It involves sex.
his face was nice enough, but his choice of footwear screamed columbian drug lord
Get your clothes on you are our DD for the night. The usual three way payment
make that a herd of moose. they will be my moose minions
WHY THE FUCK IS MY BATH TUB FILLED WITH MUD?!
1. You were drunk 2. You wanted a mud bath\n3. We tried to talk you out of it, but you kept throwing dirt at us
I don't know how Dave is alive, I feel like he's been drinking since I met him.
It was one of those mornings when I wake up and feel like I have to say sorry to the whole world
ALL I WANT IN MY MOUTH IS A GLORIOUS COCK SMOTHERED IN CHOCOLATE. DICK AND CHOCOLATE; IS IT TOO MUCH FOR A GIRL TO ASK FOR?!
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