Just saw a policeman use his lights to go through a red light only to turn them off and go to Sonic...
just ate frosted cheerios in coffee with some marshmellows. the college diet begins
just remembered that i started a tab for just myself at 50 cent beer night last night... i dont understand my life
It was everywhere, it looked like he just took the leftovers and threw them around the bathroom... Festively...
Having skype sex with him in the lounge at 1:45am...THIS IS WHAT HE DOES TO ME
Glad we went casual last night, made my 1pm walk of shame through Walmart a little less obvious
I just put on eyeliner and a diff shirt in case the pizza guy is cute. This is what my dating life has come to
In complete seriousness I think I am the highest person on earth
As I read your response saying I need a tan before I can become a go-go dancer, a girl cane up to work and gave me 10 coupons for 100 days of tanning for a dollar.
This is fate. You were destined to be a stripper.
You very well can't change your mind now. It would upset the natural flow of life.
If by some world ending natural disaster I get into an actual relationship with this kid, should I tell him the truth about the web of lies I've based our current relationship on?
Thursday could be nutella day. You could make me a nutella sandwich and then fuck me senseless
I thought about mashed potatoes the whole way home
Only you could go on vacation to visit family and hook up with a pro NFL player from Tinder
I woke up on a different floor than I went to sleep on. Can't find my shoes.
The last thing I remember was them slipping shots into my beer bong, and me being happy about it
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