Fantastic night. drank beer from a wine bottle, danced on a van, chased a llama, and fell from a fence
It was great. Even bought me breakfast in the AM
From?
Well, he didn't exactly take me out, but left a $20 on the table...
who do i root for if I want Christiano Ronaldo to win the world cup on a team by himself and then bang chicks on the pitch?
I hid drinks in her bathroom closet.... like a squirrel... a squirrel who knew she was going to get cut off soon
I don't know how I'm gonna do that tomorrow. I feel like I was hit by the motorhome. LOL I WAS.
he's my ex-boyfriend's best friend... he tried to make out with me to prevent me from hitting his friend. then they almost fought about it.
teach me your ways.
sorry like um she made me hold her puke bag while she peed in front of me is that better
For future reference.... When you take a beer out of a 6pack... You don't insert your phone as a substitute.
Your dog took my vibrator out to the yard
Now I'm having a post-sex brownie. Is this the life? I think it might be
Is this like a preordered booty call?
I peed outside 4 times after the bar, safe to say I had great night
Just don't let me do two things: Beer bongs filled with vodka or shot competitions
Damn that sucks I haven't needed pants the whole time i've been here
you don't need to worry about using proper grammar if you're asking for the size of his dick.
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