Nope, Im Irish and pissed with some drunk mixed in...therefore punching things is the best solution to every problem.
i luv seein jocks study. its like watching monkeys masturbate.
nothing like walking down the street with a garbage bag of puke trying to find a dumpster
He spent the entire date challenging me to chugging contests.
There's banana everywhere and your hamster may or may not have stayed the night in the microwave...
I spiked my fruit smoothie. Taking bikini season diet to a whole new level
let's just pour the lemonade mix into the soco. cut out the middle man.
Whoever I saved in my phone as "Jackpot" last night has your keys.
Was it high me or sober me who put those Jolly Rancher sticks in the freezer? I'd be soooo impressed if it was high me.
That dog was the best thing i ever touched
She's barefoot and topless screaming "HERE KITTY-KITTY" at a stray cat in the ditch on the side of the highway. How do I get her back in the car?
Come to office depot with me I need help picking out a daily planner that will help me keep all of my casual sex dates organized.
Eating pizza in the bath tub while watching a romantic comedy alone. I reached a new level of single.
Hey, is this going to be a real date, or am I just meeting you at a hotel to have sex in the bathroom? Given our history, I think it's a fair question.
Let the record show that I hate your ass.
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