new low, i just stole money from my 5 year old sister to buy condoms
It smells like Drakkar Noir and desperation out here.
That's why you should quit smoking.
Can we progress our friendship to a point where i'm at least granted a blowjob allowance?
thanks 4 putting "im not your boyfriend baby" on my sex playlist. she just got pissed and left.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we need a dd. For wednesday. At lunch. What are we doing with our lives?
succeeding
The fact that you think you peed off a roof shows you shouldn't have been on a roof.
I just helped a group of highschool stoners find a safe place to smoke I feel like a responsible rolemodel
Guy in the room next to us in the ER is chanting "I'm jeff and I'm drunk". He's trying to get released to finish tailgating for the Iowa game that starts in 9 hours.
I knew it was time to stop when you guys were playing a drinking game called "every three steps take a drink"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Okay. We're coming naked. We need Saran wrap and plastic forks.
It makes showers more interesting trying to drink a gin and tonic and keep soap out of my eyes at the same time.
You need to calm down.
The sweaty, naked apartment dance party wasn't complete until I threw the whole jar of glitter on us. It was like the icing.
Well you were already wet from trying to drink straight from the faucet, so I just put you in the bathtub with a pillow and called it a night
I think I ejaculated my soul out.
I feel like I got hit by a car. But a small car, like a Beetle or a Mini or something.
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